Thought Catalog

Answers To My Rejected New York Times Crossword Puzzle Submission

  • 0

Down

1. Fruit sometimes soggy

CANTALOUPE

2. Allowed to marry in New York

DWARFS

7. Honey, I Shrunk the _________

DEBTCEILING

11. Dark-horse Presidential candidate, 2012

RICKMORANIS

12. What I got

LOVIN’

14. What I also got

MILK

18. Famous female singer purported to have penis

RUPAUL

21. Cantaloupe, italicized

CANTALOUPE

23. Purchased at Cracker Barrel

ROCKINGCHAIR

25. Looney Tunes curse word

@$&!

30. Reason I missed your birthday party (lie)

FLATTIRE

32. Real reason I missed your birthday party

FANTASYFOOTBALLDRAFT

37. Not a fruit no matter what you say

TOMATO

41. Cantaloupe, wingdings

CANTALOUPE

43. I’m about to sneeze

WAITNEVERMIND

Across

1. The new black

PINKISHBLACK

4. The old black

COLORED

7. Most overplayed on the radio

COMMERCIALS

11. Suggestive text

;]

13. Capital of Nevada

LASVEGASDUHWAITWAITNOIT’S RENOWAITWAITASECONDCARSONCITYMAYBE?LETMETHINKYEAHTHAT’SRIGHTCARSONCITY

19. Excuse me, sir, do you have a minute for human rights?

NO

26. Orson “__________” Welles

FUCKING

33. “It’s so big and scary”

THAT’SWHATSHESAID

35. Made Thomas Edison famous

ANTISEMITISM

41. Your Social Security Number

486—WAITWAITWAITGOODTRYYOUALMOSTHADME

44. Cantaloupe, hangman board

__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __

46. 1939 Best Picture, Gone With ______ Wind

THE

47. Cantaloupe, binary

01100011 01100001 01101110 01110100 01100001 01101100 01101111 01110101 01110000 01100101 TC mark

image – Ross Beresford

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    • http://twitter.com/jkymarsh J. Ky Marsh

      This is fucking hilarious.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1363230138 Michael Koh

      love it

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1363230138 Michael Koh

      love it

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=612928768 Samie Rose

      What this comment says:

      CANTALOUPE

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=612928768 Samie Rose

      What this comment says:

      CANTALOUPE

    • Josh Gondelman

      Great premise! Super funny!

    • http://thatwhitebitch.tumblr.com/ thatwhitebitch

      This is THE BEST.

    • Claire

      funniest piece in a while.

    • Carly

      Hahah! This is SUPER funny, Ben. Great job!

    • -CW

      this needs to be on McSweeney’s

    • Marc R

      Outstanding!

    • Marc R

      Outstanding!

    • kaylee

      21 down, lol. gold if I’ve ever seen it

    • http://twitter.com/geology_rocks Haley F

      I giggled. And love it when TC posts McSweeney’s-esqe articles!

    • http://miriammogilevsky.wordpress.com Miriam Mogilevsky

      Wow, this is the best piece I’ve read on here for a while. Mad props. :)

    • Guestropod

      this is the best thing 

    • Anonymous

      ta.gg/55j

    • http://www.twitter.com/mexifrida Frida

      Haha!

    • Blake Blanchard

      i laughed out loud 3 times (obviously Rick Moranis, colored, and antisemitism…. but i’m a democrat, i swear). soo funny. nice job!

    • http://twitter.com/ingenuegle Egle Makaraite

      I don’t get the cantaloupe joke. :(
      But this is great

    • Natalie

      you really like cantaloupe! 

    • Shfmrobbins

      I was surprised that you didn’t use whatmymommakeswhenigohome. Get it ?

    • Shfmrobbins

      I was surprised that you didn’t use whatmymommakeswhenigohome. Get it ?

    • Anonymous

      ta.gg/55j

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