To The Ones Who Hurt Me: I Am Choosing To Forgive You

To the ones who hurt me,

Do not tell me how you understand. I do not need your sympathy or your pity. You broke me. So please, do not stand there and tell me that you understand how I feel, how my bones are cracking under the weight of it all, how my heart is so broken—so broken that I no longer know the beat it plays. I was a fool for believing that you crafted a love just for me. I was a fool for believing that you would understand. I was a fool for believing that you would stay.

Yet, through it all, I will forgive you. I will forgive you not because you realize how you have hurt me or because you’ve given me some half-hearted apology. I will forgive you because I deserve peace. My heart and my soul deserves peace. And I will not dare to stand in the way of their rights. I will not deny myself happiness, the joys of life, or the fire within my rib cage. I will not allow the pain you caused me to turn me into a cold, hardened soul.

I will be unafraid of the mess that this healing will cause me. I will be unafraid of completely unraveling. I will be unafraid of becoming who I deserve to be. There are enough cold, broken souls in this world, so I refuse to be anything but soft. I want my light to be a beacon in this cold, dark world so I may show all the timid souls that there is courage and strength in being vulnerable. That to love with reckless abandon is to love bravely. That there is so much more to love than the ones who caused the pain you feel deep within your bones. I know that I deserve more, so I shall no longer allow for you to hold space in my heart.

So yes, you may have my forgiveness—because I love myself, and that is enough. It will always be enough.