Eventually I Will Be Over You

By

Eventually my mind won’t be so consumed by the thought of you.

Eventually I’ll stop seeing your smile every time that I close my eyes.  That smile that always made me catch my breath and my heart flutter.

Eventually I won’t even remember what those baby blue eyes, that could see right through my soul, look like.

Eventually memories of you will stop haunting me.  The good memories are always the worse because that is all anyone ever misses…the good times.

Eventually your sweet and beautiful face will be just another face.

Eventually all the might could have been thoughts and feelings will be just that.

Eventually I will stop noticing all the vehicles that somewhat resemble yours even if they aren’t the same color.

Eventually I will stop looking at my phone hoping to find some kind of trace of you. A text message, a missed call, or even a social media notification – even though I know that you are anti-social media.

Eventually I will stop searching for a microscopic sign that you might still care.

Eventually I will stop replaying everything over and over in my mind wondering where I or we went wrong.

Eventually I won’t feel so empty without you in my life.

Eventually I will feel whole again.

Eventually this deep and indescribable ache in my heart will dissipate.

Eventually I will be able to breathe again.

Eventually I will stop having these panic attacks.

Eventually I will stop being sick to my stomach at the thought of you loving someone else.

Eventually I will pick myself back up.

Eventually I will rescue myself from this self-destructive path I have set myself on.

Eventually my heart will know what my mind already knows.

Eventually I won’t be so afraid to be alone with my thoughts. My thoughts that always, always lead back to you.

Eventually I will be over you.

But until then, I will feel what I feel and even then will I apologize for what I feel.