1. You are too drunk.
Honestly, I don’t care about why anyone left you. I don’t care about the fact that you’re depressed. I may listen if you say you’re suicidal. But that’s about it. I’m not going to serve you quickly if you tell me that you’re depressed. I don’t want trouble, and you sound like it.
2. I’ve served you before, and you tip like shit.
There’s honestly like a little switch in my brain that flips when someone tips horribly. Like, nothing. Leave me a dollar. Even 50 cents when I’m done pouring your beer and I’ll serve you. Tip me nothing? Well I will just ignore you next time. I have tipping customers waiting.
3. You insult me.
I hear what you say. No beer for you Mr. Snooty.
4. Honestly, I’m busy.
When I am working my ass off, I know that I accidentally forget people sometimes. I hate it when that happens. I will wake up in the middle of the night with the image of your face imprinted on my mind, knowing that I forgot you, or something that you wanted. I will agonize over it for the four minutes it takes me to fall back asleep.
5. When you have been at my bar for five hours and had 10 jack and cokes, I will cut you off.
It’s not my job to enable your alcoholism. Remember that. I will remember you.
But I want you to know, that I enjoy my job as a bartender. There is a satisfaction in knowing that I took care of someone. There is a satisfaction in knowing that I did my job well. It’s not about the tips. I want my drinks to be the best in town. I want regulars.