Hate To Break It To You But They Were Never Your Soulmate

You were so sure that you had finally met The One. This was the moment everyone always talked about. This was your person. You didn’t have to search anymore. Your heart could finally feel complete.

Everything between you two was so beautiful, so perfect. You would sit in some quiet moments and wonder how you could have gotten so lucky. Picturing the rest of your lives together was easy. The two of you just made sense together. You could talk for hours about absolutely nothing, and those few simple moments ended up meaning absolutely everything.

You would give anything for one more conversation about the cartoons they loved or what coffee they were drinking that day. What you would do for one more trip to the grocery store where they explained to you how to know exactly when an avocado was perfectly ripe. Just one more night together could fix it all.

But you are not going to get that one more night. They are not in your life anymore, and as much as that hurts, you have to accept that fact. You have to know how to leave behind what is not meant for you. You have to move on.

It can become so easy to surround yourself with all of the beautiful memories to try to convince yourself that you two really were meant to be. That this whole breakup was just a cosmic mistake and that surely the universe never meant to tear you two out of each other’s arms. But everything happens for a reason, so please, do not let the beautiful moments hide all of the broken ones.

They hurt you. The one person who swore they could never even be mad at you left you. They summed up everything you had as “fun.” The way they saw it, you were just an experience, something temporary to be had in a place they never planned on being permanent. You thought you could break the cycle of their impermanence, but you were wrong. If they were always planning to leave, why were you so surprised when they followed through?

You cannot make a home in someone so restless. You cannot make a life with someone who is always in motion. If they are always looking for the next best thing, you have to realize that one day that thing won’t be you. One day, they are not going to choose you.

Today is that day. They did not choose you. They chose a life without you. You will cry. You will curse their name. And you will regret the day you ever let yourself fall for them. It’s okay to be angry. It’s okay to be sad. You are human, and you need to give yourself time to process the hurt. You need to let yourself feel the hurricane of emotions swirling around in your chest. You have to let yourself feel. You can’t pretend you didn’t love them. You can’t pretend you don’t miss their laugh, their smile, the way they looked at you like you were all they ever needed and more. You have to feel the sadness, the nostalgia, and the anger. You have to feel it all in order to truly understand the reason why things had to end. You can’t just remember the good times and live in oblivion, but you also cannot make a home in your anger as if the good never even existed. What’s meant to be yours will never leave.

A soulmate isn’t meant to complete you. A soulmate should complement you in your life. You are each so strong on your own, but together? You are unstoppable. You make compromises so both of you are able to live a life that you love. Being together does not mean that one of you loses everything so the other can have all of the things they ever dreamed of. Your lives are a beautiful collaboration. You just fit together. There is no questioning their intentions or their loyalty to you. You just know that with this one, you don’t have to worry anymore. For the first time, everything just feels right. When you know, you know.

Life will not always be perfect with them, but it will be better than what you have lost. Maybe it doesn’t seem this way right now because your wounds are fresh and healing. But once you meet them, you will know. And this love will be remarkable.

So maybe the love of your life turned out to be just another love. Think of how deeply you loved them and how happy you were when things were going right. Imagine that love and that happiness surrounding you forever. That is how your soulmate will feel. Wait for that person. I promise you that they are out there and that they can’t wait to meet you, too.

About the author
Like if a unicorn were a person going through an emo phase. Follow Becky on Instagram or read more articles from Becky on Thought Catalog.

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