It’s amazing how small someone else can make you feel. One day, you’re on top of the world, and the next, you are lower than rock bottom. There are some days when you can’t even tell yourself apart from the rock, and you wonder how it ever could have gotten so bad. You wonder what you have been doing wrong to constantly be pushed away by everyone you think you might actually have a chance with. You wonder when exactly you became so unlovable.
You are not unlovable. But you are not invincible either. You are human. And the beautiful part about being human is our ability to make so many mistakes and then learn how to grow from them.
So maybe you took a chance on them, and ultimately, it didn’t work out. Maybe it not only didn’t work out, it crashed and burned and turned your entire world upside down. No matter how deep the hurt or intense the wound, you can always come back from it. You still are not unlovable. You could crash and burn and be wrong one million times and then one million more and that still wouldn’t make you unlovable. You just haven’t met your person yet.
We live in a world where we are constantly barraged with imagery of how perfectly everyone else’s lives are going. It can become so easy to become lost in a world that isn’t even real. Life isn’t a competition, and finding love isn’t either. Some people meet their soulmates early on in their lives because that is what the universe has deemed necessary for them in that exact moment. Others may take years or decades or however long it takes to find this love, but this doesn’t make them any less than their peers. We are all on our own path in this life, and we each reach our major milestones differently. Just because you didn’t fall in love at 15 or get married by the time you’re 30 or have kids before you’re 40 doesn’t mean you are failing. You just haven’t gotten to that milestone in your life yet.
Maybe your path has a few more twists than your best friend’s, and that is okay. Maybe you have taken a little longer to find your soulmate, but that does not mean they aren’t out there. Because if they are truly your soulmate, then they are also out there feeling this way, too. Your life is not a checklist waiting for you to complete it before you can find true happiness. All you ever needed to be happy was you. Maybe you are your missing piece. Maybe right now you are the only love you need in your life.
I know it hurts to spend another Friday night alone. I know you are sitting there, waiting for a call or a text that might never come through. I know you’re just wishing that life would get better. And I know that you think it would be if only you weren’t so alone. But let me tell you something.
You can be madly in love and still feel alone on a Friday night. You can be in a committed relationship and still anxiously wait by your phone for words you may never actually get to hear. Being in love won’t flip a switch in your life and make everything better. You won’t wake up to all of your problems solved, and you won’t be the person you always wanted to be just because you have someone beside you in your bed at night. Someone else’s love is not the cure to a life you aren’t happy with. Your own love is.
Next time you are feeling unlovable, remember this. Within you, you have always had all of the love you ever needed, you just have to convince yourself that you deserve it. If someone else is so deserving of your love, aren’t you?
Take the time to love yourself, and trust that the love you have been after will find you when it is meant to.
Please don’t give up on love.