You have been holding on to this hurt for so long. You have been carrying this burden for far longer than you deserve. It’s time to let go. This is your fresh start, and I hope you welcome it with open arms.
I hope one day soon you wake up and see yourself in the beautiful light that you deserve. I hope you open your eyes and see sunshine in a world that often goes too dim. All of us have a past, and all of us have done things that we are not proud of. But just because we were one person in the past, doesn’t mean we have to be that same person now. Each and every day is your chance to begin again and be the person your heart has always known that you are.
If you are waking up each and every day with a feeling of dread hanging over you, I hope you find the strength to fight your way through all of the pain. You have to stop giving a fuck about all of the moments in your life that have defined you in ways you know are not who you really are. You have to get up and face yourself in the mirror. You have to look deep into your own eyes and make peace with your past self. You need to apologize to yourself for all of the unkind words you have spoken to yourself. You have to accept that sometimes other people will speak these hurtful words to you, but just because they say them doesn’t make them true.
You will not be for everyone. Some people do not see the world the way that you do. Some people do not feel their emotions as deeply as you do. And that doesn’t make either of you wrong. We are all on different paths just trying to make it through this life, and just because someone else’s path strays from yours does not mean either of you are living your life wrong. You have to stop giving a fuck about how far ahead or behind you are in this life. The amount you are able to enjoy your life does not depend on how rich, successful, or beautiful you are. The secret to an enjoyable life is waking up every day and knowing that you are doing everything in your power to live the life you have always dreamed of.
There is no perfect recipe or 10 step plan to get you through this life unscathed. We will all come out of this world bruised and broken, but it is up to you whether you let your negative experiences define your time here or whether you accept that yes, some days, life just fucking sucks, but there are also days where life is fucking beautiful. The sooner you allow yourself to let go of everything that is weighing you down and all of your preconceived notions about what it means to be doing this whole life thing right, the sooner you will finally be able to enjoy all of the beautiful madness this life has to offer.
You know it’s time to stop giving a fuck and just let go when the bad days outnumber the good ones. You know you need to make a serious change in how you are spending your days when you cannot remember the last time you woke up and actually felt something. Once you hit this moment in your life — and trust me, you will have your day where you are forced to meet your demons head on — you have to let go.
You have to throw out the reminders of a past you are not proud of. You have to make room for new memories that you will finally be able to look back on and smile about. You have to tell yourself that it is going to be okay. And then, you have to believe it. You have to believe that you deserve all of the good things that will be coming your way. You have to believe that the sun will always find its way back to you, even on the darkest of days. You have to trust yourself and know that you were put on this planet for a reason and that you are so, so needed here.
You have to love yourself. Above all else, you have to fucking love yourself. You are the only guaranteed person that you will have for your entire life, so you need to start treating yourself right.
One day, you will wake up and notice the light beginning to fade from your eyes. You will not recognize the sadness staring back at you. You will be afraid of what you have become and of what your future might be like. This is the moment you have to stop giving a fuck. This is the day you look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are strong and you are capable of getting through this darkness. This is the day you stop getting in your own way, and this is the day you learn to accept yourself.