I Don’t Know Where The Summer Has Gone

Tall palm trees against a light blue sky
Corey Agopian / Unsplash

I don’t know where the summer has gone, but every time I step outside, I know I am one day closer to the end of the sunshine and summer skin and the beginning of the chill you just can’t shake. It has been three months now since you left, and I would be lying if I said I was over it yet.

Just like the spring rolled into the summer and the summer will eventually fade into the fall, our time together felt just as natural and just as fleeting. I do not know why I expected our spring to stay so temperate when we both knew summer was starting to settle in.

It’s always summer where you are.

I think that is part of the reason for our disconnect. You are used to every storm eventually breaking for the sun, while I am stuck here knowing that rain does not always lead to a rainbow. Some days it just stays dark here, leaving us all wondering if the storm will ever end.

I only brought you darkness when you were a boy so accustomed to the sun.

I don’t know why I thought you would ever give that up for me.

I have grown accustomed to these cold Chicago winters, knowing that each day can be as unpredictable as the last. I will never know your sunshine soul, and this is something I am learning to live with. You told me I would always have a home where you are. Tell me what kind of a home boards up their windows and doors to keep those out it promised to welcome in.

You are not my home.

I don’t know where the summer has gone, but I am starting to notice that I can get by without you. You came into my life like a tornado, so why was I surprised when you left me the same way? A storm is a storm is a storm and though we each may have a different way to describe it, you cannot change the core of what it is.

Destructive.

You can keep your sunshine,

And I will keep my seasons, knowing that each and every day will bring me something different.

And for once, I actually believe that is okay.

I don’t know where the summer has gone, but one day I know, it will be back again. TC mark

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