These Are Not The Days That Will Define Your Life

A blonde woman sitting in a field outside
Remy_Loz / Unsplash

There are going to be days when you can’t even stand the sight of yourself in the mirror. Every time you catch your reflection, you will only feel disgusted. You put so much effort into your appearance only to be met with an image looking back at you that you cannot recognize. You will wonder why anyone would ever be attracted to you and would choose to be with you when this is what they would be choosing.

These are not the days that will define your life.

Living in a society where so much pressure is put on everyone to fulfill outlandishly unrealistic beauty standards can become so exhausting. No matter how much weight you lose or times you dye your hair and change your lipstick, you are still told that you are not beautiful. I don’t know why the word beautiful has to be synonymous with the word perfect because some of the most beautiful things in nature happen to also be some of the most unique. If we are told time and time again that we must look a certain way or we will never be attractive, it becomes almost impossible to silence that voice within. It becomes deafening.

You want to be attractive enough to get attention, but not bold enough to stand out. You need to say all of the right things, but you can’t have too much of an opinion if you still want people to like you. It is like our society is trying to mold us into one-dimensional paper dolls without realizing the value of all of our many facets and curves.

We have to do better.

We have to teach ourselves and our children that our value goes so much deeper than what anyone can see on the outside. We need to learn to accept that not everyone fits into the cookie-cutter world we have been conditioned to want to live in and that those of us who choose to be unique still deserve a place among the beautiful.

We are all so beautiful.

It doesn’t matter if you aren’t a size zero and blonde or if your smile is made up of crooked teeth. Who you are is not defined by who you appear to be. Your crooked teeth have character, and your body is strong and healthy and ready to get you through the difficult challenges we all face every day. We should all be allowed to feel comfortable in our own skin without feeling guilty about it. There shouldn’t even be a question of whether or not you look nice today when you look in the mirror; we should always know that we do.

It has become so easy to convince ourselves that we are not worthy of love until we are able to fulfill all of the ridiculous beauty ideals society has burdened us with. No one should feel like they have to diet the week leading up to a date so that their date will be more attracted to them. No one should have to start dressing in ways that make them uncomfortable in order to finally be paid attention to. No one should have to deal with any of this.

Our world has taught us that outer beauty will lead to happiness. While I do think that “looking good” can help you feel good, I don’t believe that the secret to living a fulfilling life lies in our dress size. Your body is just a body; it is not your mind or your spirit or your soul.

When was the last time you really looked at a person and saw them for all of the magic they have been holding within?

I think we all need to start believing in the power of our own magic and with that, we will finally see the true depth of our beauty. TC mark

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