There comes a point in your life when you know that you’re in too deep—the “aha” moment that no one ever wants to experience. You aren’t happy, and you can no longer ignore that fact. We can’t predict when this day will come, and believe me, I’ve spent days begging for it to hurry up and be here already. Then it hits you.
You cry, profusely, even though deep down part of you feels relieved. An intense wave of relief begins to swell in the pit of your stomach, slowly taking over the part of you left so spoiled and empty by him. Your emotions spiral up and down until finally coming to a turbulent rest at a place somewhere between despair and actually being okay.
You are going to be okay.
Sometimes you might wish that you’d never met him. Sure, the past couple of years would have been a lot less emotionally traumatic without the constant ups and downs of your relationship, but you are who you are because of what happened between you two. It was just another part of you are being unearthed and developed. Without the occasional bump in the road, you would never appreciate all of the goodness in your life. You have to undergo a little pain to know what it is that you are not willing to surround yourself with in life.
He was just one person, and those were just a few years out of your life.
Yes, years are a long time, but they are nothing when you consider that you could have spent the remainder of your life miserable. Soon enough, those years will feel like seconds. Soon enough, you’ll spending new years and making new memories with the person you are supposed to be with.
It’s not that he is a bad person—he’s not. It’s just that together, you two become toxic. If you take two people that are incredibly wrong for each other, chaos is bound to ensue. Maybe around your friends your anxiety isn’t a big deal, but when you’re with him, it becomes the center of your relationship. You can’t go a day without worrying or being upset about something he said five days ago. There are a lot of small personality quirks and traits that mesh well with some and completely collide and explode with others. Our job here is to find those that we fit easily together with, to find those who compliment us rather than drive us crazy. Of course all relationships will hit snags—it’s only human nature to conflict with our peers.
What you don’t want, however, are the types of conflicts that leave you feeling empty and alone, even when you are sitting right next to him.
It’s over. You’ll be okay now. And you can both move on.
Yes, every time your phone chimes you will expect and want it to be him—chances are, it won’t be. This isn’t going to be easy, but you left. You finally put your foot down and left a situation that wasn’t helping you to grow, a situation that was doing nothing more than making you feel like so much smaller than you are. He will move on and find who it is that he is supposed to be with, the girl that he doesn’t create chaos with.
And one day, you will find your someone, too.