Thank You For Teaching Me How To Love Myself

 Alex Ronsdorf
Alex Ronsdorf

My darling, I thank you. You came to me when I needed you the most. I was stuck. I was stuck in a mediocre life and I yearned for more. Our connection felt invincible. Nothing could break us. You romanced me, you put me on a pedestal, and from day one I was yours. The intensity of looking into your eyes consumed me with new emotions. I knew you had seen pain, I could feel it, I could see it. I wanted to fix you. I loved you. I wanted you to become a better man, for me, for yourself.

My darling, I thank you. You gave me the power to break free from myself. You showed me how to chase my dreams. You showed me how to fight for a better life. You knew we didn’t have time to live the life society set out for us. Your darkness excited me. You made my cells dance and my soul became alive with yours. We became one. I wasn’t me without you, and you weren’t you without me. I admired you, I adored you. I loved you.

My darling, I thank you. You eventually let me see the pain you had been holding inside for so long. You hurt us. You hurt me. The fights that left me bruised. The words that scarred my spirit. You abused drugs to escape, and I escaped with you. I started to lose myself, day by day, I was less of me and more of you.

My happiness depended on your happiness. But you weren’t happy anymore. I was scared. I couldn’t fix you. Even worse, I couldn’t fix myself.

My darling, I thank you. I broke free. But this time, from you. With no self-worth, no self-esteem I was left to pick up the pieces of my fragile heart. You left me broken and I thank you. Because of you I discovered a new part of myself. A part that doesn’t give up. A part that copes. A part that is strong. I thank the universe for you. You were sent to me so I could grow.

My darling, I don’t love you anymore. I love me.  Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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