I recently moved to a new city about a month ago. I’ve never lived in a city before and I don’t really know anyone here. I’ve made a couple friends but making friends in the adult world is much, much harder than making friends in high school or college. The ‘real world’ is different. In school you’re surrounded by people with similar interests as you in your major or on your sports team or people you meet out at the bar. It’s easier to make friends when you’re in an environment like that but it’s harder to make friends in a new city where you don’t know anyone’s background.
How does a girl make friends in the adult world?
To be honest, I don’t totally know. I’m still figuring that part out.
But what I have learned is that trying to make friends in the adult world is really just like dating, and mostly filled with having girl crushes.
It doesn’t happen with every girl but every now and then I see a girl who I immediately think, I like her, I think we could get along. I think about going up to her, but then thinking that might be weird. I think, oh what if she already has other friends or what if she’s not looking for new friends? But I look at her and I’m like wow, I want to know who she is. I like her style and she has great hair. I think that we could really have a connection there. We could sit down and watch Netflix while eating ice cream and having long conversations about life. Or maybe we could go to the mountains, take a little hike on a Sunday morning and get brunch after.
The possibilities are endless.
It’s just like a normal crush but with girl friends.
I can’t help but want to know her, where she came from, what thoughts run through her head. She just seems so cool, she seems like someone I would get along with and the feeling of going out to get a drink with a girl crush is nerve-wracking and exciting. It’s a wonder of where the possibility will lead us. It’s questioning what will come of getting a drink but with so much pressure. Will we not get along? Will she not be interested in me? Will I not appeal to her like she appeals to me? Will we become BFFs? Will we hang out again or was this a one-time thing? The questions are unlimited.
But you have to play it cool, that’s what I tell myself.
Because dating potential friends is a lot more stressful than dating men. Men are simple creatures. They don’t need much, just someone who seems interesting to them and doesn’t appear totally insane from the start, but pleasing women? That’s harder. Finding that connection seems much more difficult.
You want someone who builds you up and makes you feel good about yourself. You want someone who is standing there saying “hell yes, go girl!” You want a kick ass friendship, someone who is going to be there for you when you want to get drunk on the weekend or who wants to be there to watch the Bachelor with you on Monday.
Sometimes you just have to go up to her and take the risk. Start a conversation, ask how her day is going or whatever comes to mind. Introduce yourself, ask her some basic filler questions, laugh a little and then ask her for her number or to hang out. It might feel weird, even a little tricky but hey, you do what you got to do sometimes and you never know where it’s going to lead you.
You just have to hope for the best but don’t get discouraged if it doesn’t work out. There will always be another girl crush.