It’s hard to see it right now but you’re worth more than what you’re going through. You’re better than your toxic relationship, you’re enough the way you are and you deserve better than you’re allowing yourself to be treated. It’s hard to be in that position because you don’t notice it happening, you can’t see what everyone else around you is seeing.
When I was in a toxic relationship I wanted nothing more than to believe what I had was love, that it was normal, that I was being treated great, that he was just protective because he loved me. I made excuse after excuse for what I was feeling because I believed it was love. I made myself believe it was healthy because I couldn’t see what everyone else was seeing.
My mom and I would get in fights all the time because she told me we’d break up, she told me that we wouldn’t make it and I’d hate her for saying those words because I didn’t want to believe her, but she was right.
I was brainwashed and I was blind to the way things were because I couldn’t see it and I couldn’t see it until months, even years later. I was too heartbroken to accept it and the worse part was I broke my own heart when I left and he moved on to someone new days later. I finally realized that relationship wasn’t worth it, it wasn’t love, I wasn’t happy. I knew I needed to walk away and I was the one with a giant hole in my heart and he was on to the next person.
It was toxic but that doesn’t mean the ending didn’t hurt because it did. It was painful and heartbreaking and I didn’t know if I’d find the strength to get back up.
But I did.
I moved on, I found the strength within myself to realize that I’m better off without him. I realized that toxic love isn’t love, that he needed control in order to be secure, that he needed someone to complete him because he isn’t complete on his own and I learned how to be complete by myself. I learned how to heal alone, I learned what I’m capable of, I learned how strong I am.
And it was hard, it was fucking hard but I made it through without him and I made it a hell of a lot further without him than I would have made it with him by my side.
Toxic love holds you back, it doesn’t want you to be successful, it doesn’t want you to see all you’re capable because toxic love is small. Toxic love wants to shrink you, it wants to keep you in a bubble and restrict you from seeing your worth because it knows you can do better.
Toxic love is not worth it, it’s never worth it.
Listen to the people around you, the ones you want to stop criticizing your relationship because you don’t believe (or want to believe) the words coming out of their mouths. They’re not telling you your relationship is awful for no reason, they’re telling you because they can see what you can’t.
Toxic love is draining, unfulfilling or harmful. It makes you question your worth, makes you feel like you’re not good enough, it makes you want to change and shrink parts of you. Toxic love is not love.
You are worth so much more than toxic love. You are worth someone who treats you with compassion, someone who sees the best in you, someone you is proud of you and cheers you on with your accomplishments. You are worth someone who pushes you when you’re about to give up, someone who is proud to show you off, someone who loves you and doesn’t try to change you.
You are worthy of that kind of love because that is real love. Don’t let anyone make you believe you don’t deserve that because you do. You deserve it and you shouldn’t settle for less. You are a wonderful, lovable human and you should be treated as such.
You are worth more than your toxic relationship and you will find someone who gives you the good without the bad. Don’t settle until you find it because I guarantee it’s out there.