Thought Catalog

15 Signs Your Relationship Is Toxic And You Need To GTFO

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1. You have incredible highs. There are times when your relationship is everything you could have possibly wanted AND so much more. It’s like the best feeling you’ve ever experienced. You look at each other and you just feel fire between you. You wonder how there ever could be bad times with the way things are in that moment between you.

2. Followed by the lowest lows. What goes up must come down, and those highs always turn into painfully low lows. You fight like you never imagined – someone punches a hole in the way, you say horrible things to each other and you just take intentional digs to break each other down. The lows turn you both into the worst versions of yourself possible.

3. You always feel to blame. Somehow you always feel like you’re the one to blame for the problems because your significant other makes it feel like it’s your fault. It’s always turned on you, no matter if they caused the problems or not, and you end up kissing ass and apologizing.

4. It’s all take and no give. You’re constantly giving and giving parts of you and they’re constantly taking without ever really giving you anything back. It feels like a dominated one-sided relationship where you’re doing all the work and they’re receiving all the reward from it.

5. You’re passive aggressive to each other. Instead of directly communicating what’s going on in your heads you just throw little digs at each other hoping that the message will be received that way. It’s unnecessary and unhealthy.

6. You have no trust in the relationship. You’re constantly questioning each other because you have zero trust in your relationship. You get in fights over nothing because you’re thinking the worst. If you have no trust then you have nothing.

7. You just scream at each other. Your fights are completely outrageous.You don’t even communicate, you just yell over each other. You solve nothing because you both think you’re right and you don’t care what the other person has to say. There is no form of effective communication because you’re more concerned with losing your shit on each other and getting your voice heard without caring what your significant other has to say.

8. There are times you feel like you should take a break but you can’t do it. You can’t do it because you’re toxic for each other, you feel like you need each other. You just can’t picture your life without them and the drama so you begin to just accept that’s how a relationship is and that’s how it works. You come back apologizing saying you didn’t mean any of it because you can’t bear the thought of being apart, and the cycle starts all over again.

9. You feel like your relationship is SO much work.
Relationships are work, but yours takes work to the next level. It’s always exhausting you, you feel like you just need a break, you just want to stop fighting, it completely drains you and changes you because your mind is consumed with them but not in a good way.

10. You feel like you’re changing for the worst. Relationships are supposed to bring out the best in you and make you want to be a better person, but not this relationship. It turns you into a person you don’t like and it feels like you’re losing who you are. You stop doing the things you enjoy to make them happy, you don’t go out with your friends as much and if you do, you’re always fighting about it. It’s just not where you pictured yourself but you can’t walk away yet either.

11. You find yourself always talking about how things used to be. Instead of looking forward you’re looking backwards and just wishing things were like they used to be. You rarely, if ever, talk about the future you guys could have together. It’s all about the love you used to share before things started taking a turn for the worst.

12. Growth is not something that is encouraged. Your significant other doesn’t want you to change because they don’t want you to outgrow them. They just try to hold you back and keep you in the little bubble you’re living in now instead of encouraging life changing decisions. With them this is as good as it will get.

13. You’re not happy. You honestly can’t look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself this is what happiness feels like because you know you’d be lying. But you struggle because you feel like you can’t leave. You feel stuck and love shouldn’t make you feel that way.

14. So you focus on just making them happy. You just try to dedicate your time to making them happy because their happiness is your happiness, right? But the problem is they aren’t happy either, not even with all the things you do for them. So again you’re left feeling empty. You’re stuck wishing they would try half as hard to try to make you happy like you try to make them happy but it doesn’t happen.

15. Nothing you ever do is good enough. And it probably never will be. They have something going on that they won’t share with you and it drives you insane especially since you do so much more for them than they’ve ever done for you. You try so hard and it always just comes back to you in a negative way. If you surprised them with lunch they’ll be mad you got them the wrong type of dressing. Nothing is ever good enough and they make it known. TC mark

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