Ladies, You Shouldn’t Settle For Attention When You Deserve To Be Valued

Stocksnap / Rowan Chestnut

Having people pay attention to you is great. It makes you feel good, it makes you feel wanted, it makes you feel like you deserved to be loved. But most of the time people just give you attention without truly valuing you.

Sometimes I think we become so concerned with people giving us their attention that we forget how important it is to be valued. We trade in little bits of our self-respect in order to have someone else’s eyes focused on us, and only us. Sometimes we just want to be paid more attention to that lose focus on who is giving us attention or what they’re saying, as long as they’re saying it to us. We do things we’re not necessarily proud of because in the moment it feels better to be wanted that being valued is almost forgotten about.

We laugh at jokes that aren’t funny. We say things we don’t mean. We portray ourselves as someone we’re not just to seem more appealing.

But when it comes down to it being valued is so much better than receiving attention.

When people give you attention they by no means have to respect you. They can degrade you, talk negatively about you, treat you like shit, they can basically do whatever and it’s fine to you because you like the attention they’re giving you. Maybe they’ve got a significant other, or maybe you do, but you’re still into the attention they’re giving you so you ignore all your morals and values.

You’re choosing to toe the line with your values because you care more about the attention you’re receiving than anyone’s feelings, including your own.

You realistically don’t want to be with a guy like this. You don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t value you or doesn’t have good values himself. Don’t settle for someone who is giving you attention because it ‘feels good’ because in the long run it won’t feel good when he starts giving someone else the attention he used to give you. You should be with someone who respects you enough to not only give you attention but who also values you and your morals.

Anyone can give you attention – your parents, your dog, your friends, a random drunk dude at the bar – but it doesn’t mean you should just drop everything you’re doing to hear a few pretty words strung together.

It might make you feel good in the moment, but the moment is not the long run and sometimes you have to know when it’s time to walk away because as good as the attention feels it’s not worth sacrificing being respected.

Instant gratification is something we all chase. It’s what makes us feel good in the moment, but it’s only instant. It’s not long lasting. It falls apart quickly and it leaves us alone again. 

Being valued is important, it’s so important. When people value you they respect you. They appreciate you and truly care about you. They will show you how important you are to them, they won’t make you toe the line with your morals, they will prove to you how much you are worth to them.

Everyone loves attention because it feels nice, but at the end of the day when he stops paying all that attention to you, you’ll be left with nothing other than the lingering words you’ve held on to that he’s already forgotten about.

Never trade in being valued for a little extra attention. You are worth more. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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Becca Martin

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