He started canceling plans, stopped answering your texts, stopped comforting you when you needed him and started pushing you away.
He started changing, or maybe you changed, but you can notice that things are starting to slip through your fingers and your relationship is falling apart. He used to call you all the time just to talk and now he doesn’t even return your texts. He used to take you shopping and invite you to dinner and now he makes up an excuse as to why he has to cancel the plans you made. He used to buy you things and ask you to stay the night, and now you’re lucky if he makes time to see you.
You want to save your relationship, of course. You want to turn it around because you think you can save it. You think it’s salvageable and you’re not ready to give up this easy. So you hang on, tight.
But he doesn’t.
He isn’t invested in this like you are. He isn’t hanging on with the same grip you are – if he’s hanging on at all.
He clouds your head constantly. One day he tells you he loves you and that you’re his best friend and the next he’s calling you names, avoiding you, telling you that you’re getting in his way. It makes no sense and it’s nothing you did.
You’re not in the wrong, you’re not doing less than you’re supposed to be, you’re not failing him. He is failing himself and worse than that, he’s failing you.
He’s scared you’ll leave because he realized you deserve better than him and he’s terrified you’ll come to the same realization. It’s selfish, but now he has you right where he wants you. He’s the one in control and you’re begging for him back. You’re craving his attention, you’re bending over backwards for him, you’re blowing up his phone and he’s eating it all up.
It’s not love, not the kind you deserve anyway.
You deserve someone who loves you back just as hard as you love them. You deserve someone who treats you well, someone who keeps their promises, someone who respects you. Not someone like him.
But you can’t see through him, not yet anyway. You know you probably won’t make it and that’s terrifying because you can’t picture your life without him. You’re hoping that he will realize just how much of a dick he’s been, but he won’t.
He’s a piece of shit and he won’t get that through his head. He might acknowledge it when you’re fighting, when he tries to blame himself for your relationship being in pieces to make you feel bad. It’s how guys like him work. They ‘apologize’ by saying things like, “I’m sorry I’ve been such a dick lately.” So you will feel bad, so the blame instantly gets turned and you tell him he hasn’t been. It’s all a game to him and you need to throw in the towel and walk away.
This isn’t as good as it gets. It’s not even close. It’s hard to walk away from someone who has you so hooked like this, but it’s possible. It will take all the strength you’ve got in your heart, lots of questioning, consulting your friends and breakdowns. It’s going to be really hard before it gets better, but once it gets better it will make everything in your life so much easier. It will make you feel free from all the chains you’ve been tied down by for so long.
He’s a piece of shit and right now you’re starting to see it. You can break away. You just have to stand your ground and stay strong. This man is poison and you deserve better than this. Start believing it.