1. He only calls you late at night. Did someone say booty call? He’s calling or texting you late at night because he’s 1) lonely 2) bored 3) horny. He just wants you to fulfill his needs and you are not just there for him to fuck when it’s convenient for him, unless, of course, you want to be.

2. You only hang out alone. You might think this is a good sign, like ‘oh he wants to get to know me’ but you’re wrong. He wants to have sex with you, and then not talk to you until he wants to have sex with you again. It’s not romantic, he just doesn’t want to get you involved in his life and he doesn’t want to be involved in yours.

3. He’s talking to you, while still talking to his ‘ex’. He claims they broke up, or they’re breaking up, or some form of that lie but he really means they’re still together and you’re ‘relationship’ needs to stay on the down low because he’s cheating, and lying.

4. He claims he’s not ready to date. AKA he doesn’t like you enough to want to date you. Or he’s seeing other girls and not just you exclusively, either way – drop him.

5. He doesn’t ever mention going on a proper date to you. Instead he thinks Netflix & Chill is proper enough.

6. He doesn’t want your mutual friends to know because he’s worried it will make things ‘awkward.’ Or he is just a total douche??? Maybe that’s it.

7. He only shows affection when it’s just the two of you. He does some cute shit and makes you laugh, but only in the privacy of the bedroom. Other than that he never asks you to go out in public together and if he sees you out in public he’s cold and standoffish. Not going to fly buddy, that’s not how it works.

8. He refuses to take pictures together. He always gets mad if you try to take a selfie or he gets mad if you record something and says things like, ‘seriously? Are you really going to put that on your story?’ Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know I was inconveniencing you. * insert middle finger emoji *

9. He cancels your plans a lot. If something comes up, like literally anything comes up, he cancels his plans with you. You feel upset and disappointed while he’s going through the drive thru at McDonald’s and playing video games with his friends completely unfazed.

10. He tells you he doesn’t want to date you. Like sometimes men can be straightforward, but only sometimes. If you get lucky with this, LISTEN TO THE GUY. You aren’t going to be able to change his mind, you aren’t going to be able to ‘fix’ him. Just appreciate finding the one dude who has enough balls to let you know he’s not interested in dating you and move on.

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Remember ladies, you don’t need these kind of guys. And no, there is nothing wrong with you. You might be a little crazy but anyone who says they aren’t crazy is a lair. You deserve someone who respects you and gives a shit about you, and this guy doesn’t. It’s not the end of the world, you will find someone who does, someone much better than him.

Remember – always say no to fuck boys and almost relationships. It’s his loss.