My best friend has a long-term boyfriend and I’m single.
My other best friend has a dog and her own apartment, and I just moved back in with my parents.
Someone I went to high school with has been traveling around the world for five years and I semi did that for eight months and ran out of money.
When we compare our lives to those around us – and even those we don’t know – we generally compare the things they have that we don’t. We compare the things they have that we wish we had in most cases.
Sometimes we want things in our friend’s life simply for the fact that they have it and we don’t. If we actually had their life we probably wouldn’t even want it in some cases.
Rarely, if ever, do we look at someone and say “wow, they have their own apartment that sucks so much to be them,” when we live with our parents. It’s pretty much always the other way around.
I get jealous every time I go to my friend’s house because she has her own place, her own peace and quiet, her own rules. She can do whatever she wants with no one looking down on her for her actions.
The truth of the matter is that we only focus on the things we are lacking in these situations. We never see it as, “I’m lucky I live with my parents because they ask me where I’m going when I leave the house.” Instead we think of that as a pain in the ass, like them asking where we’re going is a complete inconvenience when all they’re really doing is looking out for our safety.
Instead of comparing yourself to other people you either know or are a fan of, just focus on your life. Focus on the good things you have. Maybe you’re lucky enough to have parents that worry because some people grew up with parents who didn’t ever care what they were doing when all they wanted so desperately was their attention.
If you’re constantly comparing your life to other’s then you will never be satisfied. You will never appreciate what you have in front of you because you will always be hoping for more.
The worst part about comparing yourself to others is that sometimes you even feel good about an accomplishment in your life, that is until you look at someone who did it better.
For example, this morning I felt good when I was at the gym. I was lifting in front of the mirror and thought to myself, I look strong. Until another girl came over and started lifting. Then every confident thought in my head disappeared and I started comparing myself to her.
Comparing yourself to other people sucks. It’s emotionally draining. It takes the fun and confidence out of things.
I shouldn’t have cared what the other girl was doing because what I was doing made me feel good about myself. It wasn’t any of my business what she was doing. I should have been focused on myself, but I couldn’t help but notice how well she was doing. And here’s the thing – I don’t know how long she has been working out. She could have been working out religiously for a year or two now and it’s taken her a while to get where she’s at. That could be me in the future if I keep at it, but I have no right to compare myself to her because my week two could be her week 20 or week 200.
Comparing yourself to others is the fastest way to kill your confidence. There’s no reason to compare yourself to others, honestly. We are all unique in our own ways, that’s what makes us human. Sure, we can be jealous from time to time as long as we don’t let that jealously overcome us and turn us into nasty humans. A little jealously is okay every now and then as long as it motivates you individually to do better or work harder.
If you don’t stop looking at what other people have and what you’re lacking then your life will never be as full as you want it to be. It will always suck and you will always want more when what you actually have is more than enough.
Focusing on what you’re missing will never let you see all you have. When you’re comparing yourself to others you’re overlooking the fact that some people even look at you and are jealous of what you have.
The fact of the matter is, someone will always have it better than you and someone will always have it worse. So appreciate what you do have while you have it and quit comparing yourself to others. Just enjoy your life and continue to make the most of it because once you stop comparing your life to others it will feel a heck of a lot better and more fulfilling.
The grass isn’t always greener on the other side, either. Remember that.