The mind is a funny thing, we can convince ourselves of almost anything. We instill our own fears, our own hopes and we believe the things we’re told because we’re told is right. We can even convince ourselves we’re in love with someone who we wouldn’t ever fall for when we’re not lonely.
When we’re lonely we’re vulnerable, we’re weak, we feel like we need someone else to pick us up because that’s the only way we’ll feel better. But that’s not true.
Don’t fall in love when you’re lonely, but instead fall in love when you’re ready. Fall in love when you’re confident in yourself, when you’re feeling complete on your own, when you know what you want.
Don’t fall in love when you’re lonely, when you convince yourself that someone else can fix you when you’re falling apart. Don’t convince yourself that you’re only good enough if you have someone by your side to constantly remind you. Don’t fall in love when you feel lost in the world, unsure of what you actually want.
I’ve tried it before, I’ve tried to force myself into relationships with people I had no business pursuing but I did it because I was convinced it was better to be with someone, anyone, than it was to be alone.
All it did was leave me feeling trapped and empty. The feelings I was trying so hard to force weren’t really there. I began questioning myself and trying to find an escape to the life I actually wanted to be living.
Being alone is a part of life, it’s challenging at times, but it happens, it’s important. We all deal with being alone at some point; it’s where we find our strength and our worth and ourselves.
A love that is born in loneliness is not a love that is destined for growth – the roots are weak and longevity is hopeless. When you don’t have a strong, sturdy base you don’t have anything.
You should be ready to start a new relationship, you should be happy with yourself and your life because the person whose arms you dive in won’t be able to heal you. They won’t be able to fix you because you’re not broken and the only one who can heal you is you. You have to be ready, you have to find the strength within. You can’t expect to be whole again if you’re always having different people patch back together the empty holes inside your heart. All that will do is leave you with new holes every time you move on.
You should be ready to date, you should be excited because it’s something you want. You shouldn’t try to fill the empty spot next to you with just any body, you can’t replace an old love so don’t try. Don’t try to find someone who reminds you of past loves, find someone who just makes you happy the way they are. Find someone who can make you smile without telling a joke. Find someone who interests you and who you want to learn from. Find someone who you like for him, not because he reminds you of anyone or because he’s there and convenient for you in your time of loneliness.
Don’t dive in if you can’t fully commit because now you’re involving someone else’s heart and life.
Being alone is good, it’s important and it’s needed. It’s important to learn how to pick yourself up when you’re falling, it’s important to learn how to love yourself when no one else is, it’s important to respect yourself because if you don’t then no one else will. You need to be alone in order to know what you want and what you deserve. Don’t cheat yourself out of that.
A love bred out of loneliness is a love that’s destined to fail from the start.