First off, shout out to my mom and dad for allowing me to move back in with them after I spent all my money and had nowhere else to go.
1. Hungover weekends are not relaxing. Being hungover was like my thing in college, as much as I dreaded the hangover I definitely looked forward to doing nothing all day on the couch with my roommates. Leaving the house was basically only necessary to get food or to move to a friends couch. When you live with your parents they always want to do things, like lots of things. For them, the weekend is the time to tackle their to-do list, and not a time to enjoy a lazy hangover on the couch.
2. Always being asked where you’re going. After years of freedom, coming home and going when you please, stumbling in the door in the morning or begging your friends to come rescue you, being asked where you’re going just kind of puts a damper on your mood. You just want to stroll in and out when you please without being questioned or given the look.
3. Being called out about your drinking habits. Like honestly, drinking a whole bottle of champagne when I’m having mimosas alone is fine. There’s, like, barely any alcohol in there. It doesn’t make me an alcoholic, if anything it just proves how alone I am by drinking a full bottle at brunch by myself in my parent’s kitchen. That’s what they should be worried about, tbh (I promise I’m not a loser).
4. Not being able to have sex in your own home. Or invite guys over. I was at the bar the other weekend and someone said, “where do you live?” I said, “with my parents.” He said, “Oh..” That was the last I saw him. You definitely can’t invite guys back to your parents house.
5. Being constantly questioned about what are you doing with your life. I’m sorry I haven’t had my life figured out yet, or that when I talk about all the things I want to do you say that’s not going to happen. GOD. Let me live my life and not follow the ‘rules’ of society without being judged.
6. Being asked to do their errands for them. It’s kind of like now that you’re back you just automatically become their errand runner. It’s almost likely that every time they call you it’s either asking you to go get some more dog food or they want you to start making dinner. I mean I get it, but still, I have my own responsibilities to take care of and a life.
7. Not wanting to have your friends come over because you’ll never get time by yourself to hang with them. When your friends come over it’s like your parent’s friends come over. They just want to ask them a million questions about their life, hang out and get all the info you won’t tell them.
8.You get blamed for everything. Because pressing print on the computer and having the printer jam is totally all your fault. You got me there dad, I purposely jammed the printer so you could be annoyed with me. Yup.
9. Always get yelled at for being ‘too messy.’ You forgot to wash your pan because you were rushing out the door yet somehow that’s inexcusable because you’re just a slob with no manners who can’t clean up after yourself.
10. Always getting ‘the look’ when you throw up from drinking or come home too late. The never ending disappointment literally never ends.