To My Best Furry Friend, Watching You Grow Old Is Tearing My Heart Apart

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I look at you now and it breaks my heart, not in a bad way so please don’t worry, but in a sad way. In a way that I wish there was something more I could do for you. I want to help because I can’t take watching you in pain.

I worry about you all the time, mom tells me I need to relax a little, but I can’t. I hold my breath every time I watch you walk down the stairs and I panic a bit every time you go up them. I just can’t take the thought of your legs giving out. I know you want to come on my bed with me when you walk in my room and look up at me, but it’s too high for you to jump in now, so you sleep by the side of my bed and keep me company there.

It hurts my heart watching you sleep because you look so calm and peaceful. I can see it in your eyes how tired you are and I wish I could just cradle you in my arms forever while you sleep as long as I knew that would make you feel better. I’d do that for you, you know?

You’ve always been there for me, ever since we rescued you. I don’t understand how someone could want to get rid of you, or in your situation, want to let you stave to death in their garage. I don’t understand how someone wouldn’t love you because you’re the most lovable dog I’ve ever had. But we don’t talk about that much because I don’t want you to remember the bad times, I want you to remember the good times.

I don’t feel like we saved you when you adopted you, but instead you saved me. You were always by my side first thing in the morning, wagging your tail, giving me kisses. You might be the happiest, yet most chill dog I’ve ever met and I love you for it.

I know it’s probably getting hard for you to remember things now because you always walk around the house with a glazed over look in your eyes, it seems like you kind of forget what you were doing so you just hang out in the middle of the room and look around. You get startled more easily and you jump a lot, but trust me when I say we would never do anything to hurt you.

I know your joints ache and your bones are getting old, but it still makes me happy when you start wagging your tail and put a big dog smile on your face, for a second it makes me feel like everything is going to be okay.

And I’m sorry if you catch me staring at you all the time, but I like watching you because I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to do it for. I know I don’t have forever with you and you’re getting older. I can see it in the way you walk and the look in your eyes. I hate thinking about it, but I want to make every second count with you.

You’ve always been there for me ever since you walked through the front door and I’ll be there for you, no matter how hard it might get – I want you to know I’ll always be there right by your side.

Watching you grow old is one of the most painful things and it’s breaking my heart, but at least I know you had a good life when you became part of mine. I will sit by your side through every breath you take, my hand around you giving you a lot of love like we’ve done all this time.

I know you can’t read this and you probably will never understand how much you mean to me, but I want you to know you’re so loved and I’m so thankful for you in my life. I won’t let a day go by where I don’t show you how much you mean to me because you’ve shown me love all this time.

You’re my best friend and as many tears as I will cry, I’ll understand why you have to go because you left your mark on this world and you changed it for the better. That’s all I could ever ask from you. TC mark

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You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

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