We are a world that loves to find things to hate on and for some reason being single is at the top of that list.

I don’t know about you but my social media feeds have been bombarded with “Not Engaged” posts lately like people are trying to prove something. Maybe they’re intending on only poking fun at themselves because they might be the last one in their friend group to be engaged or whatever, but it’s a joke that has been a bit worn out in my opinion.

Being single is as good or as bad as you make the experience out to be.

You have the ultimate freedom when you’re single and you have no one holding you back from achieving anything you want. The world is literally at your finger tips all you have to do is take the opportunities in front of you and if there aren’t any, then create your own!

Being single to me is my identity, it’s something that I’m just known for and I don’t think that’s a bad thing at all. No one expects me to have a boyfriend and I don’t expect to either, I’m so happy living my life on my own that having a boyfriend would throw everything off.

But here’s the thing: I wasn’t always like this. In fact, I used to throw myself at anyone who showed the slightest interest in me because I didn’t want to be alone, especially not after my relationship ended with my ex. I thought being alone was awful, I felt like I needed someone in my life, but the truth is I don’t need someone and I never did. I just didn’t know who I was when I was alone and I felt like I needed someone there to guide me.

I started taking all the energy I put into trying to get other people to love me into myself and my entire world changed. I became a happier person, I became more self-sufficient and I became (what I believe is) the best version of myself.

Being alone can be challenging especially after you’re so used to having someone by your side, but it has made me stronger. I’ve been alone and now I can appreciate it. I can appreciate myself more and enjoy my own company.

You have to find the balance in your life, and just like there’s nothing wrong with being in a relationship there is also nothing wrong with being on your own.

We as a society are so wrapped up in finding someone to call our own; we want to be completed by another half instead of trying to complete ourselves. We want to find someone to inspire us instead of inspiring ourselves. We want to jump into bed with someone, sometimes anyone, so we don’t have to sleep alone. We are so uncomfortable with being alone that we let it take over our lives, and love shouldn’t do that.

Love shouldn’t turn you into a person you’re not proud of, it shouldn’t degrade you and make you question yourself. Love shouldn’t make you feel alone in a relationship and it shouldn’t tear you away from the things you love or try to control you. That isn’t love, but sometimes that’s what we convince ourselves it should feel like because that’s better than being alone, right? No.

Being alone is a good thing. It teaches you how to appreciate yourself, how to trust yourself and stand up for yourself. It helps you learn what you deserve and it makes you understand the importance of not settling just so you can stop showing up alone.

If you are in a relationship that you are truly happy in I am very happy for you, really, I am because unfortunately that’s rare these days. But if you settled just because you didn’t want to be alone do you understand how short you are selling yourself? There is an entire world out there for your to fall in love with, yet you decided to fall into the arms of someone who is only half invested in you.

Which brings me back to my point that there is literally nothing wrong with being single. Being single is when you learn about yourself, it’s where you discover who you are and what your interests are. It’s where you grow a better understanding of the world, including relationships and love.

Don’t allow yourself to be so focused on becoming somebody’s that you forget to first become somebody.