There are times when I feel alone and I think about you.
I think I miss you, I think about how happy I was and how much I laughed. I think about what you made me feel and how that impacted me. I think of what loving you again would feel like, but then I realize it’s not you I miss – it’s me.
I might miss the idea of you, but I don’t miss you, not anymore at least. I might miss your memory and the idea of being surrounded by someone who loved me. It’s only the idea I miss though.
I don’t miss you, but I miss who I was when I was with you.
I miss how carefree I was, how I never thought that anything could go wrong because everything always felt so right. It felt like my life had fallen into place when I was with you. I felt like everything made sense and I was exactly where I was supposed to be.
I’ve felt lost since you’ve been gone, but I know it’s not because of you, but because of the way I felt with you. I had a full heart and a passion that burned inside me for life. I had my mind set on the goals I wanted to accomplish and ever since you’ve been gone I lost that part of myself and I miss it.
You leaving tore me apart and I lost who I was, I lost the person I aspired to be. I’m not blaming you, but I’m working on rediscovering who I was at that time in my life.
I miss the feeling I used to feel inside my chest and the way I felt so alive. I miss it, but I still wouldn’t love you again if I had the chance.
You guided me, you showed me the way it felt to be loved and to be in love with my life, but we weren’t meant to last forever.
I believe we crossed paths for a reason, to discover what being alive is all about.
We grew apart and had to go our separate ways. We loved as much as we could for as long as we could and it was beautiful, but I don’t miss you anymore and to be honest I’m not sure I ever really missed you. I only miss who I was when I was with you. I miss the feelings you unlocked inside me.
So, thank you for that.
I’m working on finding myself again, I’m working on finding happiness within myself and being proud of how far I’ve come on my own. I’m working on me and finding that peace and balance I experienced in the past.
I’m working on knowing who I am and what I want out of life because since you’ve been gone and I’ve been lost. I’ve been wandering around in a daze just trying to get through every day and the thought of you reminded me that’s not what life is about.
Your memory reminded me that I need to dive into life headfirst everyday, that I need to find my passions and pursue them. Your memory reminded me that be alive isn’t good enough, that I need to live each day like it was my last. With you I had that and now I’m working on gaining it back.
I might not miss you, but I do miss the way I felt when I was with you and I have you to thank for making me understand a feeling most people only experience once in a lifetime.
You weren’t my forever person, we both know that, but you made me feel how I want to feel forever.