I Let You Go (Along With My Resentment)

Joseph Strauch
Joseph Strauch

It felt like pain through my heart because what you did to me was without a doubt awful. You left me broken and on my own, while you ran to the arms of a stranger you didn’t even know. You let her comfort you and instead of fixing the wounds from our broken relationship, you replaced the pain with your newfound rebound.

That’s all she was, right? A rebound? You met this girl three days after we broke up while you were drowning away your sorrows in a bottle of Jack Daniels.

But you turned to her, you confided in her and the dagger I thought made its way all the way through my heart didn’t even come close until the moment I found out. Until the moment I heard that you already found someone new, three days after we parted with our goodbyes…

Do you know how that made me feel? How worthless I felt? I couldn’t even drag myself out of bed and make it through my house without tears streaming down my face and you already found comfort in the arms of someone new.

I resented you, but at the same time part of me hoped you’d come back because without you my life didn’t have the same meaning.

Without you my life felt empty and the holidays were lonely. Without you I felt lost and all I wanted was for you to come home to me. I wanted to work things out and sort of the problems we didn’t before.

And you did come back, about six months later. You apologized for running to the arms of a stranger instead of trying to fix the problems we had between the two of us. And I forgave you, until you stopped trying to fix the problems again and decided it wasn’t going to work.

And again you walked away.

It hurt, but this time not as bad, because this time wasn’t the first time so I wasn’t as naïve. You were the one who stripped me of my innocence and taught me not to believe every word someone says. You were the one who made me skeptical and start to guard my heart. Part of me hates you for that, but the other part of me wants to thank you.

I want to thank you because you taught me what it means to be loved, while at the same time you taught me how painful it is having my heart broken by the person who meant the world to me.

But now I have finally moved on, I have finally opened up my heart and let you go, along with all the anger and frustration I had towards you.

It wasn’t easy, you made it really hard, I was hooked on you for years.

There still isn’t a day that goes by you don’t come across my mind at least once, but I’ve accepted it and I’ve let you go.

I no longer get angry when I think of what you did to me, instead I think of all the moments we shared together, the happy moments. I realize how lucky I am to have known what it feels like to have experienced love, to have experienced knowing what it feels like to be someone’s whole world, but I’ve also experienced what it feel like to have been completely shit on by the same person.

I learned from you and as hard as it was I’m finally over you. I let you go, along with all the resentment I held in my heart for so long. Now you’re merely just a name and a few memories, and I’m completely okay with that. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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