You used to be my universe, I felt like I couldn’t breathe without you by my side, but I guess that’s what happens when you fall in love for the first time.
You drop everything in life and cling to them because you don’t know any better. You don’t have the skepticism and you don’t know the pain. You don’t have any guards up and instead you have open arms ready to grab at him and pull him in close. You want to smother him in your love because you have a full heart with only a few dings and bangs, but it’s not broken and you aren’t missing any pieces.
I was utterly obsessed with you. You were my sun, when you shined I shined, we were inseparable and I couldn’t imagine my life without you.
But you burned out; you left me in the dark with nothing but sadness and memories.
My darkness was deep, but you didn’t notice because you had already moved on. You left me there alone, scared, hopeless and a mess. You knew I was scared of the dark, but you didn’t care because you went out and found another girl who needed you to be her sun.
I didn’t think I’d ever be able to pull myself together, I didn’t think I’d be able to stop the tears. I didn’t think I’d ever be able to find the light again, but I did.
Now my sun isn’t a person. I’m done giving someone that honor until I know they can handle it. You did exactly what I should have known all along, but I was too young and too naive. That comes with your first love though I’ve now learned. I gave you everything I had in me and you took most of it, but now, on my own, I found my strength again.
My world is bright again, I made it shine on my own.
I’m still more skeptical now, I judge guys because I know what they’re capable of. I know what they’re after most of the time, but I know what I’m after too.
Loving you hurt me, it broke me, and it made me realize the pain I could feel when I make someone my whole world, but I don’t think I’ll ever regret loving you.
You taught me a lot, not so much at the time, but after. When I was alone, when I was forced to be alone, I learned a lot about myself. I learned who I was with you and who I wanted to be after.
I am a different person now than before I loved you. I am no longer pure and hopeful, I am damaged and broken. But I found strength in that. I found the person I want to be.
You might have been my sun, but now my world still shines without you.
You were the most important thing to me at one point, but now I’m the most important thing to myself. So, I thank you for that. I’m glad I loved you, I’m glad I got to experience love and loss.
But more than anything I’m glad I got to discover that I don’t need someone else to be my world, because my world is still whole on my own.