Please, Only Ever Do What You’re Comfortable With

Jeff Bergen
Jeff Bergen

Please, never agree to doing something because you feel like you have to or because you feel peer pressured from everyone else around you. Do not, I repeat, do not do anything you’re not personally comfortable with.

Don’t go vandalize that property because your friends want to do something reckless. Don’t send the guy you’re talking to naked pictures just because he’s pressuring you and you feel obligated. You should never feel obligated to send his grimy self nudes that he probably wants to jerk off to then show all his friends. Don’t get drunk and lose your virginity just because you didn’t want to be the last one of your friend group to have sex.

Don’t do anything you’re not ready for and definitely don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with.

I’ve been there, I’ve felt the peer pressure. You feel like if you don’t go with the crowd that you’ll never be ‘cool’ or that you’ll miss out on so much. I can tell you right now that the only things I remember from high school and trying to be ‘cool’ are all the times I got in trouble. I don’t remember the parties, I don’t remember who was there, I don’t even remember where ‘there’ was, but I do remember every time I got my ass reamed out for doing something I had no business doing. And I can tell you I found myself in most of those troublesome situations because I went with the crowd and I feel into peer pressure.

I know when you’re young that everything feels like the end of the world if you miss out, but I can promise you it isn’t. Soon enough everything will all be one giant blob of scattered memories and distorted stories.

Out of all those memories you’ll have bits and pieces of what you’ll always remember is the things you wish you could change or do differently.

You’ll remember the person you lost your virginity to forever. You’ll remember the time you sent the picture of your boobs to the boy who promised he would delete them right after. You’ll remember all those names you were called and start hating yourself because you didn’t even want to do it in the first place, but he promised everything would be okay. You’ll remember all the nights you almost got arrested for drinking underage, being at a house party you weren’t supposed to be at, partying on private property. You’ll remember all the people who shit on you when you were down and all the people who tried to drag you down further.

If your gut is telling you the decision you’re making is wrong, then it probably is. Always go with your gut.

I can guarantee my proudest moments weren’t when I fell into peer pressure and I hope you can learn from my mistakes.

I can’t look back and be proud of myself when I was sobbing as I was being questioned for what my friends thought was a good idea and I was stupid enough to go along with. I can’t look back and be proud of all the nights I had to run away from the cops for being somewhere I wasn’t supposed to. I can’t look back on the guys I used to think really cared about me and be proud the decisions I made with them because I wanted attention more than respect.

I’m not exactly proud of who I was when I wasn’t strong enough to stand up for myself and make my own decisions, but I’m proud to say I’ve come a long way and I’ve learned how to stand on my own two feet.

People can be really cruel, they can be hateful, they can want to watch you fail more than succeed, so they will guide you down the path of destruction.

Don’t fall down that path. Stand up for yourself. Learn how to say “no.” Don’t ever say yes to something you’re not 100 percent confident and comfortable with. Don’t date someone because your friends tell you it’s a good idea. Don’t smoke weed just because everyone around you is. Don’t go to a party if you know it isn’t a good idea. Don’t have sex if you’re not ready because the right person will always respect that you want to wait.

Don’t let the peer pressure devour you, you’re stronger than that.

So please, make a promise to yourself that you will only ever do things that your future self will be proud of you for and that you are comfortable with. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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