I would prefer to wake up every morning in my own bed with nothing but unused pillows by my side than wake up next to someone who doesn’t drive my crazy in the best way possible.
I’ve been in a few hallow “almost relationships” before backing out faster than my own two legs could graciously carry me.
A love bred out of loneliness and comfort is not a love I want to be in.
I’ve woken up next to guys that have done nothing but made me groan – and not in a good way. I’ve thought maybe – just maybe – I could find some reason to stick around. I’ve thought maybe there will be something I find irresistible about them or something that will drive me crazy about them, and every time I’ve been left with nothing but feelings of regret and disappointment in myself.
I can promise you, it is better to be alone than with someone who doesn’t blow your mind and drive you crazy.
When you wake up you want to wake up next to someone who makes you smile just by looking at them. You want to be motivated and inspired by them every morning. When you don’t want to crawl out of bed they should be the one who helps you get up. They should be the one who you have pillow fights with and play fights with in bed. They should be the ones you’d be perfectly content with laying next to all day on a Sunday doing nothing but eating and loving each other.
Be with someone who pushes you to try new things, even when you complain that you don’t want to. Be with someone who knows you’re scared, but knows once you do it you’ll feel amazing after, someone who wants you to test your boundaries and no matter how mad you get before after you can always admit he was right after.
Be with someone who annoys the shit out of you.
Someone who asks you the same question five times and after the third time you just start giving them sarcastic answers instead of actually responding. Be with someone who will burn dinner because they don’t listen and you end up order that take out food you were craving in the first place. Be with someone who will push you off the couch with their feet and you have to yell at them to stop. Be with someone who when you go to smack their arm for being a dick they grab you and kiss you, or give it right back – in a harmless way, of course.
Be with someone who makes you mad because fighting is healthy and sometimes you just need to take your anger out because you’ve asked him five times already to do something and he has yet to move from the couch.
Be with someone who listens to you when he knows it’s something you’re passionate about and nods in support to all your wild and crazy ideas.
Be with someone who drives you crazy in your head and crazy in the bed.
Be with someone you could imagine going through everything with.
I picture the moments of pure bliss laying in each other’s arms on the couch. I picture cooking dinner in the kitchen together arguing about who is doing it right. I picture the road trips where we’re each convinced we know what direction to go in. I picture the late night talks in bed about what we’re going to do in this life together. I picture the drunk nights we spend way too much money and the regret sinks in with the hangover the next morning. I picture the nights where I can’t stand you because we got in a fight and I want to sleep on the couch more than next to you.
I picture everything and that’s what I want.
I want the craziness that comes along with relationships. I don’t want just the Hallmark stuff and I’m over the desperate fucks and meaningless texts out of loneliness.
I’m not wasting my time on anyone who doesn’t drive me wild because I’d rather be alone than with someone who doesn’t fulfill me and make me absolutely crazy in the best way possible.