Don’t think it’s okay to show up at my door steps and expect me to care for you because I won’t. Don’t think that just because it’s late and I’m alone that I’m missing you. Don’t think that I’ll run back to you just because you made a shitty attempt to come back into my life.
Don’t call me when it’s 2 AM and you’re drunk, I won’t answer.
Don’t send me a Snapchat asking if I’m up because I sure as hell won’t reply. Don’t follow that up with an, “I just wanted to see how you’re doing” text because I’ll delete it.
I don’t want to be there when you’re feeling alone and sorry for yourself because I deserve better than that.
You get me at 2 in the afternoon when you need something dropped off at work. You get me at 5 in the afternoon when you have good news and you want to share it with me. You get me at 7 at night when you’re hungry and we cook dinner together. You get me at 9 at night when we lay on the couch and watch our favorite show together, but you quit all that. You decided it wasn’t what you wanted.
You surely don’t get me at 2 in the morning when you didn’t want me at 2 in the afternoon, that’s not how it works.
I’m not a booty call, I’m not just some girl you can ring up and expect to be there for you. I’m not that girl and I frankly don’t ever think I will be. I don’t want your late nights, I want you middays when you’re over the workday and you just can’t wait to come home to someone. I don’t want to be your late night call because all your friends went home with someone and you’ve got no one. I don’t want any of that.
I wanted you and you had your chance, but you decided it wasn’t what you wanted and that is okay. I respect that, but what I don’t respect is how you blow up my phone late at night when you’re lonely.
I know the lingering sting loneliness leaves on your aching heart and one-track mind at 2 AM, but just because you call me doesn’t mean I’ll be there.
If you can’t be there for me during the day when I need you then I can’t be there for you in the middle of the night when you need me.
It doesn’t work that way, it never has and it never will, at least not with me.
You can dial every number in your phone, you can find someone who will soothe your aching heart, but that person will never be me. You can call me until your phone dies, but I won’t pick up. You can stand outside my window and throw rocks at it all night, but I’ll just move to another room and leave you standing there hopelessly hoping that I will come to your rescue because that’s how you made me feel, that’s how you left me.
I’m not the girl you can call when you’re feeling lonely and that will never change.