I’ve always prided myself on being single, on not needing anyone to make me happy because I’m already pretty damn happy with my life on my own. I’ve always thought of myself as a strong person, I always thought I had to be the role model for all my single friends reminding them that being single is incredible and to be strong as well. And while that is still true, I’m coming to the point where I do want love and I do want to find someone to spend my time with.
Admitting to wanting love usually comes hand in hand with being called desperate or needy. We shame people for admitting to what we all virtually want, which is love. It makes us feel vulnerable and exposed to come out and say we want it. It’s like your opening your heart and mind to an idea you’ve tried to close off for so long.
Wanting is love is not bad, it is not wrong and it certainly does not make you weak.
Everyone tells you that your twenties are your selfish years; those words have come out of my mouth as well. I graduated college, left everyone behind and moved to the other side of the world on a one-way ticket and can’t tell a single person when I’m coming back home or what my timeline is because I have no idea.
I also realize I’m only 22 I’m still young. People tell me to focus on my career and get my goals in line, which I am doing. I know what I want to do and I strongly believe I’m on the right path. I did put my own dreams first; I moved to adventure, explore and begin my life of traveling I’ve always wanted so desperately to do.
No one can tell me I’m not out living my dreams, no one can tell me I’m not prioritizing my goals and career objectives because I am.
The only thing I don’t understand is why can’t I want a relationship in the mix of all this?
I want someone to join me on my adventures, I want someone by my side that wants to go to New Zealand and go skydiving. I want someone who would love to spend a weekend scuba diving or snorkeling The Great Barrier Reef. I would love to have someone who is all for living out of backpacks and volunteering at sanctuaries along the way. That fits into my dreams and that goes with my plan.
I’m not aiming to find my husband and get married by 25. I don’t need that. I don’t need a house and a family right away. I still want to be able to live out my adventures and dreams, but just because I want to do that doesn’t mean I have to do it alone.
I just need the right person to come along, the other adventurous soul that wants to join me on my journey because my journey is also in fact his journey.
Wanting love is never bad, it is never something you should be shamed for because wanting love is natural and it’s instinct. Never let someone make you feel ashamed for wanting love, for wanting to go on dates and spend time with someone you have interest in is never a waste of time.
Everyone has their own idea of love, they have their own ideal fairy tale in their head or maybe it isn’t a fairy tale. Maybe they just want someone who loves them back and makes them happy. Maybe they don’t need a big adventure or a diamond ring, they are perfectly happy just with someone by their side through it all.
I love the idea of being in love. I love the idea of finding someone that just feels like home, like the piece of you that’s always been missing.
I’ve always admired my friends and coworkers relationships, I’ve always been looking forward to that one day where I have my own someone to love.
As much as I do understand the importance of putting yourself first, along with your goals and dreams, I also don’t understand why people frown so much on throwing a relationship in that mix. A relationship needs nurturing and attention, just like every other aspect of your life.
Wanting love makes you strong, because even in this crazy modern day dating world we live in, you still believe in love.
You haven’t given up, you haven’t decided to quit when you’ve met another person who has no intentions of staying. You shake it off and don’t let it shatter your heart. You keep believing.
I know I am young and my time will come, but I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. Wanting love is not a bad thing, it is not something you should feel shameful or embarrassed for wanting, it’s a good thing. It means you still have hope for what’s to come, and when it comes it will be worth the wait.