I’d Rather Imagine Who You Are Than Actually Find Out

Jesse Herzog
Jesse Herzog

I’d rather not know the shampoo you wash your hair with or the way you like your eggs in the morning. I’d rather not know if you like to sleep in on the weekends or get up early. I’d rather not know your favorite meal or your drink of choice at the bar. I’d rather not know anything about you, because I’d rather imagine you for who you might be than to actually find out who you are.

That way there are no hard feelings, there are no sad songs playing on my radio and there are no tears falling down my face at the end of the day.

You can be who ever I imagine you to be because that way there is no let down in that, and to me that is perfect.

I don’t want to know what your mom calls you, I don’t want to know what happened on your prom night in high school and I don’t want to know about your past loves. I don’t want to know anything about you that could make me get to know who you really are.

I want you the way I see you; at face value.

I don’t want to know if you ever cheated on your ex girlfriend, I don’t want to know if you used to be the guy that broke girls hearts and I don’t want to know what pain you might have caused others to feel.

Because once I know those things, there is no more wonder, there is no more safety.

I want to know you at face value, I don’t want to know more about you than the person who’s taking your coffee order.

I want to know the least amount possible because that way there is no real attachment that can occur.

That way I’m not allowing myself to find real feelings by relating your life to mine.

You’ll just be someone I’m intrigued with for a short piece of time, and then forget about because maybe the only thing I really know about you is your name. Maybe we will only share a few laughs and exchange a few words. And that’s all I’ll have of you, and that’s all I need from you.

You’ll leave me wondering, wondering what you’re about, wondering what you’re doing where I am and wondering what kind of person you are. Knowing takes away all the questions and all the fun.

I don’t want to know who you are as a person because I don’t want to get hurt. I don’t want to allow myself to open up to you and be vulnerable when an instant later you could get up and leave. I don’t want to do that because with you it’s more fun to wonder. It’s more fun for it to be unreal. It keeps me safe.

I’d rather wonder what your lips would feel like on mine. I’d rather wonder what it would be like for you to hold me in your arms. I’d rather wonder what you’re like in the morning when you roll out of bed. I’d rather wonder all those things because I know there is no future with us.

Guys like you don’t fall for girls like me. So, I’ll keep my distance and wonder about you, until your vague memory disappears and is replaced by the next person who I am intrigued with at face value. It’s better this way, to wonder who you might be, than to find out who you actually are. TC mark

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