Your Expectations Are Ruining Your Chances At True Love

Korney Violin

If I had to design my perfect man, I would go for someone who is 6 feet 3 inches tall, who is a little thick, dark hair, dark eyes, dark beard, nice teeth and a banging personality who can always make me laugh. He’d love to go out and have a good time, but he’d also enjoy staying in on the weekends every now and then.

I’d say someone like that is my dream guy, but I have yet to find that person and in all honesty, out of everyone I’ve been with no one has fit that description, and that’s all right because I don’t need that person to necessarily be happy.

I’ve been happy with people who are shorter than me, who have had blonde hair, who haven’t had perfect teeth and who haven’t had a beard because it’s not about deciding who your perfect person is and only dating someone based on their features because you will set yourself up for failure.

By setting expectations you will often be let down when you come to discover that they are hard to find. Not every person you meet will be your exact dream partner, and that is something we have to be okay with.

Expectations can kill relationships before they even start. We fill our heads with all these ideas of what we want our next partner to be like. We only want to date someone if they are like this or that. Maybe we take our ex and find every single flaw we can find and resurface them for the whole world to see. We expose their weaknesses and say over and over again that we don’t want our next relationship to be anything like that.

Honestly, you can draw up your dream man; you can spend hours and hours analyzing what he should look like and how he should dress. You can scroll through the Internet in hopes you find someone who looks like your favorite celeb. But the reality of all that is, we can’t help who we fall for.

You can fall for someone way out of your league. You can fall for someone taller than you wanted or maybe shorter than you. You can fall for someone with blue eyes when all you wanted someone with brown. Life doesn’t care about your expectations.

Life doesn’t make sense, ever. You take what it gives you and sometimes that could be someone completely unexpected. Life could introduce you to someone and that person can flip your world entirely, for the best. We are who we are and our souls want what they want. We have to embrace life and love as much as we can because we don’t choose who we love, it just happens and that is the beauty of it.

So instead of drawing up your perfect man and your perfect relationship, open your heart to all those who come along and touch it because you never know where love could bloom from next. TC mark

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You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

“It’s just wondrous how every time I go through some emotional trauma, your posts are so relatable and it gives me so much hope. I love the writing and the photos. It’s all a pleasure to read. I can’t thank you enough for it, really.” — DM from @ThoughtCatalog Instagram follower

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    Lists have never worked for me…and I think that when I stopped making lists, I ended up with a more fun person (who was a lot better than my listed one!). :-)

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