In A Room Full Of Everyone I’ve Ever Loved, I’d Still Choose You

Aily Torres

I used to be the girl that made you laugh and the girl that got to spend all night watching movies with you on the couch. I used to be the girl that would always be riding shotgun next to you singing at the top our of lungs. I used to be the girl you’d call when you wanted to go on an adventure and I’d go anywhere with you.

I used to be the girl who could finish your sentences and think of the words when you couldn’t. I used to be the girl who was constantly on your mind, dawn till dusk and then dusk till dawn. I used to be the girl who would leave you wide-awake all night talking and thinking.

I used to be the girl who was your everything, before I became the girl who was your nothing.

I stopped being the first girl you wanted to talk to in the morning. I stopped being the one you couldn’t wait to see after work. I stopped being the one you’d take out to dinner. I stopped being the one you wanted to spend your time with.

You broke me, you made me feel like my heart was ripped out of my chest and stomped on a million times. I felt pain over and over, when I thought it started going away it came back, it always came back.

But if you put me in a room full of everyone I’ve ever loved and everyone who has ever broken my heart, I’d still choose you. I would always choose you.

I would run to you over and over again. Every time. I would wrap my arms around you and tell you how I’ve missed you every day since you’ve been gone.

It’s you I would choose you to wake up next to every morning and make breakfast for. It’s you I would choose to send flirty texts to on my lunch break. It’s you I would choose you to come home to after a long, shitty day because I know just the site of you would make me feel better.

I would choose you no matter how much alcohol I had in my system, even in a room full of everyone I’ve ever loved because to me we had something that was rare and intense. An instant connection I knew I never wanted to live without, but you must not have felt the same after time. As I grew with you, you grew away.

Even so, I would choose you when I’m lonely and want someone by my side, but I would also choose you when it’s 2PM and something wonderful has happened. You’d be the person I’d want by my side when all my dreams come true.

Because it’s not about who you miss when it’s the middle of the night and you’re lonely, it’s about who you miss in the middle of the day when you’ve got a million things going on. And to me that person is always you.

No matter the circumstances, no matter the time, if I had to choose again I would always choose you, even if you wouldn’t choose me too. TC mark

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You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

“It’s just wondrous how every time I go through some emotional trauma, your posts are so relatable and it gives me so much hope. I love the writing and the photos. It’s all a pleasure to read. I can’t thank you enough for it, really.” — DM from @ThoughtCatalog Instagram follower

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  • http://littleharto.wordpress.com littleharto

    I swear this is too accurate. I guess once you really fall in love for the first time, the experience never really leaves you

  • http://themaskofthedoctorswife.wordpress.com Stephanie Carter Taylor

    Love happens for a reason, for a season, and for your one true love who is waiting for you! Don’t give up! It happens when you least suspect that it will, and it’s glorious!

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