Ahhh, summertime. Sweet sweet summertime, everyone’s favorite time of the year to go sit by the pool, plan a weekend at the beach and soak up every ounce of sun before winter comes back and smacks us all in the face. Unless, of course, you’re pale then it is an everyday obstacle course of hiding your easily sunburnt skin and bathing in sunscreen.
1. While all your friends are lying around the pool all day you have to constantly be flipping over, in the water or sitting under an umbrella or face the painful consequence of turning bright red.
2. When your friends complain about being pale in the winter and you’re like “at least you get tan” because we NEVER tan, not even in the summer. So thank you for constantly rubbing it in.
3. Spray tans are our only hope and they only last for a few days. We have to strategically plan them out because we don’t want to look orange, but we also don’t want to be white.
4. Forgetting sunscreen is possibly one of the worst things you can forget to bring for a day laying in the sun (next to alcohol, of course).
5. Being asked why we don’t get tan… I still don’t understand this question because if I could magically start getting tan I would love to, but I can’t because genetics.
6. People constantly making jokes about how pale you really are. I know I look like a ghost. I don’t need you to rub it in my face.
7. How painful a sunburn really is because there’s nothing like walking around like a lobster for days after you attempt to get some sun.
8. HOW YOUR SUNBURN DOESN’T EVEN TURN INTO A TAN. It just goes from shades of red to white. It’s so unfair.
9. Jokes about the sun reflecting off your skin when you get in a bathing suit for the first time in the summer, or throughout the whole summer honestly. But on the flip side since you’re pale no one is looking at your unmaintained beach body because your skin is blinding them anyways.
10. Everyone always loves to compare their skin tone to yours because no matter what they will always look tan next to you.
11. Getting in the shower after you get burnt is absolutely painful. Cold showers for days.
12. You probably always fought with your mom when you were younger because she’d constantly yell at you to put on more sunscreen and you were convinced you’d get a tan without it. You were wrong, sorry mom.
13. Aloe Vera is your go to, your right hand, and your saving grace because without it you’d be screwed and miserable.
14. White and cream are not your colors. Also yellow should probably be out too. Just stick to black, it’s everyone’s best friend.
15. Not being able to wear tank tops multiple days in a row because your shoulders are already sunburnt from the first day. And yes, you did put on sunscreen.
16. Constantly asking your tan friends, “do I look tan yet?” and never receiving a “YES!” unless it’s sarcastic because that’s what friends are for.