1. It’s not something you necessarily decide on.
“It’s based off feelings and how well you get along with her. It’s hard to describe I guess, but there are some girls you just connect with on a more personable friend level. Like she’s a guy’s girl and you love her for that.”
– Kevin, 26
2. I don’t do it intentionally.
“I more do it as a “Well I still want to be friends” because the girl is really cool and all, but I still don’t want that kind of relationship with her. It’s not a personal thing and I don’t ever intend to hurt her, she just isn’t someone I’d want to date for whatever reason at the time.”
— Alexander, 25
3. I’m focused on me.
“I probably do it most of the time because I want to do my own thing, I don’t want to get involved with someone else at the time, and that just results in me friendzoning her because I don’t want to get involved in a relationship.”
– Tommy, 24
4. I just don’t want to talk to them.
“There are just some girls that I really don’t want to talk to. If I just meet them I will be nice, but if she starts acting all clingy and crazy from the start then she isn’t someone I want to be with. Everyone has those people they just don’t want to talk to for whatever that reason is and that person is immediately in the friendzone.”
– Cameron, 22
5. She isn’t my type.
“I’m very particular, which is my own fault, but it’s easier to friendzone girls because it makes it easier on the relationship than making it awkward. I hate telling them I’m not interested. It’s nice to have friends and saves the drama. It’s also easier than telling them how you really feel.”
– Brady, 27
6. The spark isn’t there.
“Sometimes I just don’t feel the connection between me and the other individual that would make me want to pursue something romantically. Whether it is physically, intellectually or emotionally. There are plenty of girls I find attractive and interesting but for whatever reason have never made a move, which technically means they are in the friendzone. Sometimes I’ve tried to play it cool and could’ve done something but I haven’t.”
– Samuel, 29
7. Why complicate things?
“My own emotions or needs sometimes fluctuate, and the opportunity to pull a girl out of the friendzone is just not on my radar compared to what I’m dealing with or thinking that day. Some of it is being unmotivated and scared, and sometimes I just don’t want to hurt a girls feelings. Sex is a very intimate act and there are feelings attached so why complicate things? If it’s meant to happen, it will happen. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t.”
– Jacob, 26
8. Her attitude.
“Sometimes I really like a girl when I first meet her and I really think it might go somewhere. I’ll spend time with her and then realize that the more I get to know her, the more I dislike her attitude. I’ll kind of back off a bit and then before I know it I’ve friendzoned her because she isn’t someone I can see myself dating.”
– Mike, 21
9. I don’t believe in the friend zone.
“I think this is a kind of bullshit excuse for guys who don’t want to tell girls what they really are feeling or thinking. The best relationships come from friendships, and you generally start as friends with everyone you build a relationship with. People use this excuse because dating has gone to shit, but something romantic can absolutely come from friendships.”
– Todd, 28
10. She doesn’t possess qualities I want in a partner.
“Sometimes even if I am attracted to her, she doesn’t have the personality that I’d want in a partner, but more the personality of a friend. I don’t see her in a sexual way, but someone I care about on a different level. Someone who’s friendship matters too much for me to screw it up. But I still want her around because she adds something to my life.”
– Jacob, 24