Why Sex With An Ex Is So Damn Addictive (According To Women)

Joel Sossa
Joel Sossa

1. The feelings were still there.

I thought that maybe if I continued to have sex with him that maybe he would fall back in love with me the way I loved him. I never got the closure I needed and thought that having sex with him might help me get over him. But every time we were together the feelings only got stronger. I was killing myself over him.

— Kyla, 27


2. It’s comfortable.

When I have sex with him I don’t have to worry about if my thighs look too big, or if my vagina is perfected shaved, or if he thinks my nipples are weird looking, or any other insecure thoughts that run through my head in bed. He knows me and I don’t have to worry about his opinion because he’s already seen me at my worst and I’m not trying to impress him.

— Beth, 29


3. He’s really good in bed.

There’s really no secret here, we dated, we broke up, and we still have sex. You would have sex with him too if you knew how good he was at it. We really don’t talk much unless we’re making plans to meet up and I’m actually cool with it. He’s a good guy, he just wasn’t someone I could see myself with forever and it was the same for him.

— Carly, 26


4. I miss him.

I’m not in love with him anymore, but I still miss him. It’s that strange miss where you find yourself thinking of him when you’re lonely or when something that reminds you of him comes up. Even though we’ve grown apart when we have sex it’s like for that time we’re together nothing has changed and that’s the time that I cherish and that’s the time he will also be his raw, vulnerable self with me like he used to. Outside of that time he’s just not the man I loved, but I get to see parts of him there.

— Samantha, 25


5. I want him when I’m drunk.

When I’m drunk I can’t control my feelings for him and always look for him for sex. I want him bad, I find myself doing stupid things like snapchatting him or texting him, because when I’m drunk he’s all I want. I’m strong when I’m sober, but it’s so much more challenging when I’m not. He’s my biggest weakness and I always hate myself in the morning if I stay the night.

– Amanda, 23


6. I haven’t fully gotten over him.

He’s my nicotine; I think I’m addicted to him. I still try to reach out to him over random things, but if it doesn’t involve sex he doesn’t care. I know he’s already moved on because realistically I should have too, but I’m not at that point. Sex with him is the only connection we really have left and I know I shouldn’t give into him, but I really can’t stop as long as he’s still asking.

— Laura, 24


7. Our relationship ended a while ago.

I still have sex with my ex now that it’s been over a year. We’ve both grown up and can have a more mature FWB relationship. I’m not sure why I do it to be honest, maybe because it’s easy and it’s there. It doesn’t hurt my dating life at all; I’ll still go on dates and have sex with other people. He’s just kind of there in the background.

— Miranda, 30


8. We’re basically friends with benefits.

We knew we weren’t good for each other, that’s why we had to call our relationship off. It was kind of mutual so it didn’t end badly, but we still have sex. It’s casual and we do our own things, but it’s still nice to know that he’s there for me in a friend way if I need something. I’d say we make better friends with benefits anyways, less to worry about and more fun.

— Lila, 27 TC mark

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