The rain pours down and I don’t miss you anymore.
It felt like our thing, the rain. The way it was so gloomy outside as the clouds opened up and poured down on us. I used to love the way running through the rain felt with you. In a strange way it was exhilarating in an exciting and free way. It was like it was just you and I on our own, running through the world together hand in hand.
It would always start the same, a countdown to “go” and trying to run as fast as we could to the car or the house. But you’d pull me back and I’d yell for you to stop, even though you never would. You thought it was funny to see my try to wiggle my hand out of yours, and I would start laughing with you. My make up would start running down my face, as I’d laugh uncontrollably with you. You’d pull me in and kiss me in the rain.
We’d drive down to the lake and watch the storms roll in together. We would count down between thunder booms and lighting strikes to see how close they were to us. We’d let the storm bring out all the emotions in us, as we’d sit at the lake for hours. The rain hitting off the car became a comfortable pinging noise that I grew very found of. I always found comfort in you and the rain. Letting myself feel everything like the lighting was striking right through me.
We’d lock ourselves in the house on rainy days, playing repeats of the movie we’ve already seen what felt like a hundred times. We’d lie in each other’s arms as we squeezed together on the couch, while also trying to eat the unhealthiest snacks we could find in the house.
We let the rain became our things, how cliché of us.
But today it rained, and I didn’t miss you. I didn’t miss all the things we used to do when it rained. The wind bustling around outside my window didn’t make me want you next to me pinching my waist thinking you were funny for it. I didn’t want to grab your arm and put my face into it when I heard the house creaking from the storm. I didn’t want to drive down to the lake and pour my heart out to you.
Instead I still enjoyed the rain, I just enjoyed it in my own way, by myself. It was peaceful and different, a good kind of different that I needed.
It’s almost like the rain eroded away the sadness I felt every other time the sky would open up and pile down on me. Drop by drop and storm by storm, the time passed without you and today I don’t miss you anymore.