One girl’s (very satirical) look at the “perks” of being an overweight woman in a society that finds us absolutely disgusting.
1. Eat whatever you want – people will stare either way!
When you are plus size, people become utterly fascinated by what you eat. They can’t possibly fathom how you made your body look the way it does, so they feel compelled to observe your eating habits. If you eat something healthy, they stare in disbelief or give you an approving nod for trying to better your health (because, as we all know, being plus size is always a direct result of eating nothing but blocks of cheese and tubs of marshmallow fluff). Contrastingly, if they see you eating something unhealthy, they whisper to their friends about how you are killing yourself by being so fat and cruel to your body.
So, because people will stare either way – that gives us plus size people the freedom to eat whatever we want! Plus, we don’t exactly have a figure to maintain, according to everyone else!
2. Save money on medication!
When average sized people get sick or injured, they get the proper medication and are sent on their way. But when you’re plus size, doctors automatically assume that all of your illnesses and injuries are directly related to your weight (editors note: while some illnesses are linked to being overweight, sometimes fat people get the flu too!) – so instead of making you pay for lengthy treatments, they just tell you to “take better care of yourself and eat more fruit” and send you on your way. Who knew the answer to all fat girls’ problems was to simply lose weight!? Don’t spend your money on a zpack for your bronchitis, just shed some pounds and your lungs will be back on track.
3. People will give up their seat for you, assuming you’re pregnant.
When I first moved to New York City, I thought people were just really nice because of how often they would offer me their seat on the train, in waiting areas, or anywhere else for that matter. One day, a man offered me his seat, and finally gave me an explanation: “You shouldn’t have to stand in your condition. It’s not good for you or the little one.” AHA! Another plus size perk! Now that I understand that people assume I’m pregnant, I’ll never have to stand on public transit ever again!
4. No annoying flirty guys at bars!
One of my friends (or should I say, acquaintances) let me in on this little secret: since society automatically deems plus size girls as completely repulsive – we never have to worry about being creepily hit on and wolf-whistled like skinny girls constantly are. We are so fortunate because guys aren’t constantly harassing us, and we don’t have to worry about stuff like roofies at bars because we aren’t the targets! Ah, the feeling of safety.
5. Save money on clothes because you aren’t tempted!
I honestly don’t know how non-plus size girls do it: every store you walk into has your size. How do you all resist the urge to buy clothes constantly? Plus size girls are limited to about five real life stores (with a handful more online) and those stores have far fewer locations. Because we have so few options, we save tons of money compared to average sized girls who are constantly tempted by cute clothes in their size. Sure, our clothes are often more expensive and we usually have to pay for shipping from online stores, but overall it balances out in our favor! Aren’t we so lucky?
So if you’re ever feeling blue about being disregarded by society at large, just remember that being plus size has a ton of perks to it that average people are envious of!
Author’s Note: But seriously, you guys are all awesome exactly how you are and don’t let anyone ever tell you any different.