Lord, guide me as I walk through this challenging journey. You have given me blessings I cannot even count, even the tragic ones I consider blessings, only in much different ways to see. I believe that You are always present, guarding and guiding me. I know that even in my moments of despair, You are there to make me feel that everything is under control. You make me hold on to life, You make me trust this world, regardless of how unfair it appears to be. In times of fear, in times of doubt, worry, and anxiety, You let me find rest in Your words. You are what I hold on to so tightly; You keep me from shutting down.
Sometimes I want things to go my way, to push through the way I planned it, to progress according to what I want to attain. There are times when I force something to happen just because I am selfish enough to insist that that’s what’s going to make me happy—happier, even. There are moments that I blame You when things go wrong—heck, I even forget to pray. Yet You embrace me and accept me without minding the number of flaws I have, the failures and the disappointments I make. You are what keeps me sane in this life full of insanity, vanity, greed, and anguish. You’re everything I need to focus on to see how beautifully this world is created.
I am no more than just a follower, a servant. I am not superior to anybody else. I am unworthy of Your love but I humbly take your mercy, as that is what saves me. I know that the time will come when I don’t have to unleash any evil living deep down inside me nor believe that there I have darkness within me. And when I’m triggered by the presence of it in trying times like this, I only pray that I get to finish whatever mission You sent me to fulfill.
You are my refuge and my strength. With You I can do all things; allow me to live according to Your will.