I should have told you all the unspoken words I buried in my heart and the poems I wrote during autumn days when we were in a hollowed-out base of a cedar tree, where we sprawled on the ground covered with autumn leaves, looking out at the rain as it pummeled the sword ferns and ivy. I should have told you that you were the lone star in my sky the only soul who led me to see the beauty of the world.
Do you know what I have loved? It’s quite simple. It’s somewhere in that time when it was cold and rainy nights- we were standing by the window to that familiar walls of the palest white surrounding, looking across the City. That moment when we were watching the play of light and shadow on the lawn and the gentle breeze felt. The leaves of the trees rustled and trembled like a Tiny Dancer. The sunlight that filtered through the leafy domes of trees and the radiant and pretty days that seemed to beckon and invite.
I have always loved that moment when we both felt an early winter wind blow when the sky lay perfectly clear, the stars were the chilled points of light. We both watched the maple leaves curled into fits and dropped away, and the rain grounded them into an auburn paste. We both watched the birds that began to call at each other louder and louder; they were a huge dark cloud over the treetops. They flew in by the hundreds; wave by wave, coming from the west then disappeared into the silence, into the dark cedar leaves, and into the sky preparing for darkness. We both watched the world when it’s dusk, that even when the sun was gone and the horizon was still streaked with pink, red, salmon and lavender, there was still a beautiful light.
Today, the world is incomprehensibly intricate and yet, the place where we were once standing at made a simple sense in my heart. And in the silence of my mind, all those things are still cluttering deep in my heart. I suppose they always will.