Thought Catalog

6 Reasons You Should Really Cut Ties With Your Ex

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Inna Lesyk

“When we are intimate with another human being, we become even more connected through energetic cords that are left on us and in us.”

— Arielle Ford

More often than not, lovers made vows and they always want that these are eternal even they knew that they were being pulled by unexpected life’s changes in different ways, sweeping them away into new lives and changed worlds: I’ll always be here for you when you need me. Always count on me no matter what may happen. That even how many times you broke my heart, it will always be opened for you.

But, you have to consider some important things. When the relationship ended, don’t be tempted to stay with an Ex even if you think there is still a little piece of love in your heart. In a relationship, there are two kinds of endings: the happy ending and the sad ending.

And if you’re the one being left and experiencing a sad ending because he ceased to get in touch with you that perhaps he has decided something else for his life. It hurts to lose someone you have learned to love. But it hurts even more if you cling on to someone who perhaps has decided to find his way about life without you.

Remember: No matter what, life must go on.

Here are the reasons why you should cut the cord with an Ex:

If your Ex hurt you once, it will be repeated over and over again: This is quite so true. There is something so splendid, so abundant about life’s second chances that arrived each morning. Perhaps second chances (third, fourth, fifth and sixth) are the golden opportunities we thought too good to be true the first time around. But if an Ex really loves you then that Ex will never hurt you and will never leave you no matter what. Getting back together may seem so sweet or exciting but people are difficult to change. Don’t prolong any masquerade because it will depreciate you while your Ex gets away with murder.

1. To remove old and negative patterns.

Old and negative patterns if not being cut will let you stuck in a rut. It will never clear the baggage that may have accumulated all throughout the time you spent together. Don’t let this drain or suck away your ability to enjoy life. Focus on the positive aspects. Get rid of the echoes of the past.

Things will never be the same again: Think that you and your Ex are back together again after a horrible break-up. Your heart will tell, ‘everything will be alright’ but in the end, bet my ass, the trust will never be the same again. Things that happened will always haunt you in each moment and the pain keeps coming back. Tell yourself you’re done with the pain of crying over someone who never appreciated your worth; of crying the tears of a lovelorn- the all-consuming spasmodic weeping that shattered your entire body. That you’re done being an option, being a second best and a doormat. That you’re done chasing pavements.

2. To be able to find the right person for you.

Keep looking around. You don’t have to wait for five years to realize you deserve better- someone who would cross heaven and earth to be there for you; someone who comes through a hurricane or a tornado because that person cares for you; someone who makes you feel loved, amazing and invincible; who loves you- not halfway, not maybe and not a second best to someone else.

3. To create new memories.

Fall in love with SOMEONE NEW- in a separate way, one that involves only both of you and uninfluenced by the past or fall in love with YOURSELF. Travel and find yourself footloose in Paris. When walking the streets of Paris in a thin spring rain, breathing the fresh smell of the air and coffee, realize that you don’t need a perfect companion to have a romantic life. Because you see, there are people who have relationships but no romance at all. And there are those whose lives are full of romance even when they are not paired up. Have a fairy tale romance with yourself. And that’s romantically fabulous!

4. To heal the broken pieces of your heart.

You know how hard to mend a broken heart. Being constantly reminded by your Ex can happen thousands of ways. It reminded you of him whenever you hear your favorite songs being played on the air. Those old familiar lines might still give you a certain glow. It happens and you cannot stop missing your Ex. Move on from the sting that comes from the loss of someone you have loved. As what Jonathan Martensson said, “Feelings are much like waves. We cannot stop them from coming but we can choose which one to surf.”

Don’t go against yourself because that’s one of the greatest mistakes you will do. Stop surrendering yourself into the grip of loneliness.

5. To be with yourself.

Magic begins the moment you explore yourself. Don’t cut yourself off from one of life’s greatest pleasures. It’s actually a good thing when you’re alone because it gives you a space and time to discover your existence and importance in life. Having someone beside you do not equate you from being alone and happy. I’m not telling you to isolate yourself to the rest of the world. But when one gave up on you- don’t come up with the idea that life ended there. Start living from your heart and you’ll find that every moment brings another chance to fall in love with SOMEONE NEW or with YOURSELF.

6. It’s time for your soul to sing a new song.

It’s always lovely to try singing another song. Get rid of the old songs because it will always bring back the memories of an old flame and the old times. Never, ever think that those old lines will sound new again, it won’t. Don’t ever think the old feelings will come through and stop wondering why your Ex walked away. Hey, sing a new song, Darling! And dance infront of new people and that’s okay!

Let each day’s brushstrokes reveal the incomparable beauty of your stilled life. Moments you once called ordinary now seem infused with grace. Go ahead, cut the cord and start a journey of finding yourself and feel beloved on earth once again. TC mark

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