Before I tell you anything about this part of my life, I need you to know one thing: This is all about consent. I give my verbal consent to what is going to happen, and if I don’t consent, it won’t happen. I will never have to do something I don’t want to do. That is simply the way it works in BDSM.
As a Submissive, I adore giving up my control.
In truth, the Submissive actually has all of the control. I give my limits and we discuss what I am willing or not willing to do. I can stop at any time without punishment or judgment. After I tell whoever is dominating me all of this, we either continue to play, or we don’t depending on what we both are looking for. So when I say I love to give up my control, I mean this:
I very much enjoy obeying orders I am given by my Dominant and not having to worry about the world around me. I am also a Service Submissive. In other words, I love to do things to make another’s life easier; whether that be doing laundry, setting the table, or just grabbing them a drink. It gives me a great sense of satisfaction being of service.
I need to be in control of my every day life. I have responsibilities, especially in my Alcoholics Anonymous program. It can be overwhelming and I need a release.
A release is different for every person. I get mine from pain.
As a masochist, I get pleasure from the pain. Some outside of the BDSM community assume that being beaten is being abused. I wholly understand why some might believe that. I want you to know there is a huge difference between the two. I give my consent to being flogged or spanked or beaten. I only do what I am comfortable with and nothing else.
When I am experiencing pain in a scene, I derive endorphins from it. With enough pain, I go into a concept known as subspace. That means that everything around me disappears. I don’t hear the noises around me and I sink into the moment. It is an incredible feeling and utterly blissful.
Where I get my release is when I come down from that high. It is something called crashing. The endorphins leave my body and in my case, I cry. But where the true satisfaction and release comes from, is when I am told I pleased my dominant.
That is what I love. That is what I need and after I crash, being told I did a great job taking the pain, I am totally at peace.
It isn’t like this for all Subs. We each have a different kind of release from different things. But for me, knowing I have pleased my Dom is where I get the satisfaction.
All of this might seem odd or even wrong to some, and they have every right to their opinion, but there will always be people like me who embrace those who desire this, and will never judge you for what makes you happy.