How to deal with a man who is not willing to commit?
Simple Answer: Leave.
I know it isn’t that easy. You’re probably thinking I don’t understand. But I do, believe it or not, dismiss it as naive or a figment of my imagination- but I fell in love. At Least, I thought it was love, but I don’t think I’ll ever know until I find someone I want to spend the rest of my life with. But that’s the point- I thought that someone was him.
After a tumultuous two year on and off, long distance relationship. I am the only one who knows how I reached the decision of letting it go. So here it is, I do understand what you are going through.
You think he will change, you think you can be good enough to make him want to commit.
You might be dealing with a man who likes to have sex a lot, no worries- he will learn to enjoy one partner- you.
But then he cheats- multiple times, under the premise that you were on a break.
You accept it, being fooled that physical commitment and emotional commitment are different. They are not. You might deal with a guy who goes in and out of communication. He is just bad at texting- you justify.
He isn’t because he’s probably texting his friends to make plans on it all the time. You also might deal with the occasional man who goes on a serial dating spree after you’re done and comes back- wanting only you.
He does not if he did- he would not have dated those other girls.
So here is low and behold, he is afraid of commitment.
How do you know it- you just know.
We are all smart and intuitive creatures- we know. What do we do when we know, instead of walking out. We invest more time, energy and love in the person who evidently isn’t ready to commit to us.
But why shouldn’t he be? We are perfect in our own bodies and minds and if that is not enough for him, that is not your problem. It is his. He is not ready for you and if he is not ready now, there are no guarantees that he will ever be.
So you need to reevaluate this situation- what are the odds that old habits will die easily, what are the odds that you want to end up spending your life with a man who wasn’t even sure of you in the first couple of months. What are the odds that at some point in your life, he won’t come back to the same point- thinking that suddenly doesn’t want this commitment?
You are not an option, you are a decision and if someone wants to be with you- they will do everything in their power to do it.
Embrace yourself- you are eventually going to find someone who will snuggle in your beauty, grace, and intelligence.
Someone who will stay up nights when you need to talk and challenge you to spend time on your alone, to push your comfort zones, to meet new people- to be the best you can be.
Because you were a decision, a fabulous one and good decisions often have the best outcomes.