5 Things To Ask Yourself Before Dating Someone Exclusively

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Duri from Mocup / Unsplash

I’ve been single for roughly two years now. Many times when I go out on a date or meet somebody new, I get the annoying question almost every time, “How is a girl like you still single”?

My response: By choice.

I like to believe that I keep my standards high and my demands/non-negotiables apparent. This has caused my dating pool to decrease more than the average.

After experiencing heartbreak and learning to love myself again, I have no desire to jump into a relationship for the sake of it. I see so many people settle and try so hard to make something work when in reality, it’s just not meant to be!

This past month I was dating someone casually, and I was fairly happy with it. The dates were well thought out and amazing, we had some deep conversations, and he made me laugh a lot. Still, despite all these great things, there was still something missing… I didn’t want to text him every day, I didn’t miss him, I didn’t always know what to talk about, I wasn’t comfortable dancing in the car with him, and I was never 100% sure about him.

Despite my doubts, I chose to keep giving it a try in hopes we would learn more and adapt to one another.

The crazy thing is, he was feeling the same way and decided to break it off. We both felt that it wasn’t right.

I was disappointed, yet beyond relieved when he told me.

So here are 5 things to think about when you’re considering about dating someone exclusively:

1. Do You Feel Comfortable Talking About Anything

Can you comfortably text them at any time of the day and tell them your crazy theories about which Kardashian is pregnant, how annoying your boss is, or that you’re craving Taco Bell for the 3rd day in a row?

When you’ve found your match, you’ll no longer have to do the texting game of waiting 15 minutes to respond or wanting to FaceTime, but don’t for fear of looking weird.

They’ll the one you’ll want to share your good news with and bad news as well.

You’ll be able to speak your mind fearlessly, without worrying if they’re judging you or not.

2. Do You Miss Them

Even after you’ve just had a nice weekend getaway together, do you miss them when you get home?

Do you crave to be around them or to talk to them regularly?

That going more than 48 hours without talking just seems unnatural?

It’s wanting to simply know how their day went, even if it’s a simple 5-minute conversation.

3. Can You Be Yourself

It’s feeling comfortable and relaxed, and not like you’re putting on a show.

It’s singing the lyrics to Michael Jackson in the car even though you can’t sing for the life of you. It’s burping in front of them and not feeling completely embarrassed, bringing them home to your unmade bed and sink of dirty dishes, and letting them know about your horrible taste, in reality, TV shows.

4. Are You Proud Of Him/Her

If you’re not bringing him or her around your friends and family, it may be time to reevaluate.

Whoever you’re with should be someone you can’t wait to show off and introduce to people in your inner circle.

You speak highly of them. You praise their achievements, brag about how they make you feel, and talk them up to everybody. You wouldn’t fathom the idea of exposing their flaws.

5. Do You Trust Them

Last but not least, you’ll just know.

You’ll trust that you’re the only one that has their attention. You won’t have to scroll through their Instagram followers or comments to see if they’re entertaining somebody else.

You won’t have to sit and wonder if they’re out with someone else when you’re not together. You won’t freak out when they don’t respond to your texts right away.

You will be fully confident and secure with the right person. TC mark

Bailey York

I travel to a new country once a year with people I don't know.

This is me letting you go

If there’s one thing we all need to stop doing, it’s waiting around for someone else to show up and change our lives. Just be the person you’ve been waiting for.

At the end of the day, you have two choices in love – one is to accept someone just as they are and the other is to walk away.

We owe it to ourselves to live the greatest life that we’re capable of living, even if that means that we have to be alone for a very long time.

“Everyone could use a book like this at some point in their life.” – Heather

Let go now

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