Love is the one feeling and experience that many of us crave but fear at the same time.
Love can make or break you.
After hundreds of years trying to break down love, whether it’s Pablo Neruda poems, Shakespeare plays, or Whitney Houston songs, we still have difficulty putting our finger on what love is!
I’ve been studying love and relationships for the past two years now, and here’s the harsh reality about love:
1. We Attract What We’re Ready For (They’ll Make or Break Us)
When choosing a partner, we are typically going to be with someone from whom we mutually benefit. We seek recognition, consistency, reassurance, and happiness from our partner. We can eventually become so devoted and invested in our partner that we don’t think anyone would ever compare. We learn to accept the person we love, flaws and all.
2. We Will Risk Almost Anything For It (You’ll Make Questionable Decisions)
Whether it’s eloping over the weekend, or taking a trip together after knowing each other for less than 3 months, we make bold moves when we are head over heels.
Love can be blinding or awakening.
The beauty of it though, is that you don’t have to explain it to anybody but the one you love. If it feels right and makes sense to you, do it.
3. You Become Another Person (Better or Worse, It Depends)
Becoming a we, is forming a shared identity, which is less focused on individualism. For example, if the person you love is in pain, you feel their pain too. Another factor in this shared identity is that it’s shown to the public and you are a representation of each other; this becomes your brand.
So the egotistical and selfish question asked is, what’s in it for me? How am I going to gain and benefit from this relationship?
4. If You Cheat, You Don’t Truly Love Them (No Exceptions)
Philosopher Robert Nozick once said, “Those who aren’t in love, are looking to “trade up” and look for the next best thing. A readiness to trade up or looking for someone with “better” characteristics, does not fit with an attitude of love.”
Trading up (looking for something better) or the willingness to, would destroy the “we foundation” that you two have built together, which really means that you’re destroying yourself in the long run.
In order to love, we must forego seeking something better, solely committing to the current relationship, not have the temptation of options or trying someone new.
5. You Live For Somebody Else Now (It’s Not Just About You Anymore)
We become selfless when we are in love because we think for someone else besides ourselves. We let go of of a great amount of individualism, and devote our everyday thoughts and emotions to someone we are in love with.
You’ll go to the grocery store and feel the need to call your loved one if they need anything.
You’ll start making the bed in the morning because you know your love likes a clean house.
6. Who We Love Is A Reflection Of Ourselves (Whether You Love Yourself Or Not)
It is so important to know ones worth and to understand ones value before investing time and effort into someone else. Whomever we choose to love, is a representation of ourselves.
So if we choose someone who has poor qualities, that is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves.
7. Your World Will Change (In The Most Amazing Way)
I believe in an unbreakable bond. Being in love with someone is being devoted, trusting, and having reciprocal reassurance and consistency. It also leaves little to no room to question ones motives. You can finally be at peace.
When is comes to love, I believe that it is a combination of overall well being and quality of life. By loving someone, you become one with that person.
It’s as though you are enhancing yourself and sharing your everything with someone else.
Sharing is something that we do everyday with family, friends, and even strangers.
But, a shared identity is sort of like the heart and oxygen, without oxygen the heart won’t beat.