First off, I want you to know that I am my own person. I will have a number of non-negotiables that I have established for myself and I am sticking by them. In the past, I may have been able to dumb my standards down, but not anymore. I know better now, because I have come to understand my worth as a person and I will not allow society or anyone to dictate what it is – no matter what my past is like.
Second, I would want you to know that my past has made me who I am today, but I hope you understand that my past is my past and I have turned away from that life completely. I am not going back to that dark time in my life because, like I said earlier, I know better now. My past has made me realize the person I shouldn’t be, the things I shouldn’t do and the way I shouldn’t be treated. When I had my lightbulb moment, it allowed me to easily spot the toxic people in my life and carefully eliminate and avoid them, one by one.
Third, I want to apologize for the times that I could be too hard on myself or on you. I may have built up a wall to protect myself from experiencing the pain I felt before. I just don’t want to go through the heartache again – I hope you understand. I also hope you know that I don’t want you to experience the pain I went through, because who in their right mind would want that? I want to preserve this – this thing we have.
Ever since you came into the picture, I’ve been beginning to feel things for you like never before. Everything I do has become measured and calculated because I’m starting to see that what we have is so special.
We are both in that critical time of our lives where we are both mature enough to set our own ships to sail wherever we want it to take us in life. But somewhere, somehow, our ships took a break on the same dock right when we were refueling and redirecting where our ships would take us – and that changed everything.
You found me at the time when I have finalized my route. You found me at the time when I have figured out what my ship needs to endure the long journey. You found me at the time when I was about to hop on my ship and I was looking for my first mate – you offered to be my first mate as long as I accepted to be yours. And I did.
We jumped into each others’ ships a bit faster than I would’ve expected but I believe we both arrived at the right time. It was strange at first, having someone next to me, willing to listen to my thoughts, willing to challenge my ideas, willing to look past my flaws and willing to accept my being – but I’m slowly getting used to it. It may take a while, but please be patient with me.
I could see how confident you are with yourself, how sure you are with the things you want to do in life, how complete you feel on the inside because of the joy your heart is filled with – it’s exploding everywhere. There may be a few questions here and there, but over all – you know what you want, and you know what you have to do to get there. And I admire that about you, so thank you for finding yourself before finding me.
Thank you for coming into my life at the right time. Thank you for allowing me to discover myself before I began getting to know someone else. Thank you for not forcing yourself into my life like most people would. Thank you for accepting my entire being, and for allowing me to be the person I am. Thank you for understanding my past and for accepting everything that has made me – me. Thank you for jumping into my ship and offering an extra hand, even if you know I don’t need it. Thank you for giving me the time to slowly break down my walls for you, because you deserve to see the raw and unguarded me. Thank you, because even if you don’t realize it yet, all of this simply fell into place.
Thank you for finding me after I have found myself.