And it’s going to hurt.
Because you know he’s not going to love you. Because you know he loves someone he can never stop telling you about. How she smiles. How her eyes look. How she laughs. How she outshines all of the stars above. How she can put a smile on anyone’s face just by being there. It hurts because you know you’ve been there for him when she broke his heart, when she rejected him, but he could never see you.
It hurts because you know that the one person who loves his smile, his eyes, his laugh is you.
It had always been you.
Through thick and thin, you have always been there. Just a call away. Just a text away. Even just a shout away. Whenever he needs you, you come running. Whenever he puts himself in a corner, you pull him out. Whenever he gets loss in his own void of darkness, you start a fire that burns so bright it diminishes his darkness – if only for a while.
Even when he couldn’t stop staring at her. Even when he couldn’t look at you when you’re talking because she’s there. Even when he couldn’t look away from her. Even when you’ve been digging your own grave just to keep him living, just to keep his heart from shattering. Even when you’re not the reason that he can’t stop smiling.
It will always be you.
And it will hurt.
The worst thing is — it will never stop hurting.
Because he will never see you as the one. He will never give you more than what he is offering now. He will never see you as someone more than a friend. His heart will never skip a beat when you’re there. His smile will never grow wider just because of you. He will never look at you the way you look at him. You are, to put it simply, his friend.
His “hey, I need a ride” friend.
His “hey, I want to drink the pain away” friend.
His “hey, how do I tell her I love her” friend.
You are the friend.
And really, sometimes, you can never end up being more than that. Because the only thing you can do when you unconditionally love someone is hope to dear God that they end up loving you back.