How do you fall out of love with someone you once felt so deeply for? So deep you were no longer even sure where your feelings ended and his began. So deep every fiber of your being was so irrevocably intertwined with his, woven into this intricate tapestry only the two of you could understand. So deep you felt a gaping, aching void where his existence used to fill up every nook of your being with the promise of a future worth looking forward to.
How do you fall out of love with someone you knew better than you know yourself? When, at dinner, you knew exactly what he liked to order (the ribs) but you can barely settle on a single dish from the menu. When you knew exactly how he likes his coffee as you make it for him every morning (black) but you can barely get your own cup to taste the way you want to. When you knew just the right words to say to comfort him when his boss is being a total asshole again but you can’t find quite the right words to tell yourself when you’re feeling down.
How do you fall out of love with someone who shared every memory worth remembering? That time he pushed you off the dock into the freezing lake and frantically dove in himself when you stayed under for more than a few seconds. That time when a funeral flower arrangement arrived at your workplace on your birthday because he apparently got the order code wrong. That time when he charmed your parents the first time they met him. That time on that same dock under the starry winter sky when he asked you to spend forever with him.
How do you fall of love with someone who was your match in all the ways that matter? The way he knew just how to push your buttons one second and then have you laughing so hard you probably needed stitches. The way he challenged you to become a better version of yourself not because he asked you to but because you wanted him to be proud of the person you are.
How do you fall out of love with someone you actually considered wanted to spend forever with? After getting burned too many times to count, you almost believed you’d be the creepy cat lady down the block, and then you met him and forever was no longer a vague concept for silly little girls. Forever became as real as the feel of his lips upon yours as you opened your heart to him and he made his home in it.
How? How do you fall out of love with someone like that?
Maybe I should just pick up the phone and pull up your number.
After all, you fell out of love with me.
You would know just how.