Living in the South, playing the polite games of our yesterdays, and what some might say is destined to be our tomorrows, we find ourselves fixated on mundane trivial falsities to the face, which result in stabbing the back. Conversations between friends consisting of statements such as, “He is a selfish asshole, but I love him.” Or, “What should the theme of our party be? Mary’s party was horrible, we can do better” Really?! Does anyone ever want to yell, WAKE UP? An endless circle of daily nonsense has become the merry –go-round we can’t escape. Where did our drive, excitement, passion go? Do these things trickle away with our youth, as we splash in the puddles left by the rain, as too have we splashed away the joys of living?
A little bit of background before this call goes out to the humans to uncover their heads, to take the veil of familiarity and tuck it in your back pocket. A request, save the net for an occasional comfort; opposed to a contemplative shield for existence. As for the judgments screaming through the scream and breath down your southern pristine neck, they are not judgments as all, data collect in fact. The trend represented by the data state that southern women are not happy despite the verbal communication that nothing is better than being a southern bell. The “call” is coming out for each individual to listen to what they actual say and feel thought their day, and what are the implications of those words and feelings? If in fact there is a moment when a positive language, or a positive action can replace a negative…..DO IT! This will, eventually, add authentic joy and passion to your life. How, you might ask, by creating more aware humans.
Real life examples, and replacement behaviors to help you have a more passionate, aware life.
1. Unhappy statement: “I can’t believe she didn’t wear whit, I told everyone to wear white for my birthday brunch.”
Replacement (joyous) statement: “My favorite character trait is her confidence. I love that she can go against the grain and rock a different color dress.”
2. Unhappy statement: “I could never do what you do.”
Replacement (joyous) statement: “I’m not sure what it is that I want to do, or how to do it. Will you help me understand how you’ve accomplished what you have so maybe I can apply some of it to my life.”
3. Unhappy statement: “I need him to change. I’m working on raining him.”
Replacement (joyous) statement: “I’m working on improving myself, we are growing together in this relationship.”
4. Unhappy statement: “I can’t believe she just walked out without helping us clean! What is wrong with her? She is so gross! Does she not even care that this place is a mess?!”
Replacement (joyous) statement: “She must be in a hurry, lets clean for now and ask her to do a specific job when she can.”
5. Unhappy statement: “Can you believe she got drunk and said those things.”
Replacement (joyous) statement: “Last night was interesting, alcohol breaks down all filters. We’ve all had our moments, now we have a funny story.”
6. Unhappy statement: “Those invitations were so tacky.”
Replacement (joyous) statement: “We all have our gifts. The invitations were simple, but I know that she is a wonderful host!”
Being honest while not engaging in negative is key to keeping your head in the clouds. And in this case, having your head in the clouds is a good thing. To be grounded with all of the negative Nancy’s is not something to be desired. Desire flight, desire joy, passion, and positivity. Desire conversations that lift above the typical. If you engage in replacement statements, I guarantee your conversations will change for the better.
To living, and communicating purposefully and authentically.