It’s impossible to be universally admired and adored. Every person who has made their way to the top has done so with a subset of individuals trying to undermine them constantly. If you Google “negative opinions of Mother Theresa” roughly 3.5 million results will pop up.
The term most commonly used for these types of people is “hater”. They are the trolls that lurk in the out of control comments section, hiding behind their laptop screens. Nobody has ever built a statue for a critic. With that in mind, here are some clear cut signs that you’ve been drinking a little too much “Haterade”, and what you can do to cure this cancerous mentality:
1. You attribute the success of others to luck
Whenever you see someone successful you scoff at them and say things like “They’re just lucky, they don’t have any real talent.” Or “Any idiot could’ve come up with that idea/product.” The reality is that while luck does come into play at times, usually people are successful because they worked really hard at whatever they’re doing. Sure you may not think that pop hit you’re listening to is a piece of musical genius, but at the end of the day it’s not easy to create something that millions of people are interested in. Being entertaining is a talent in and of itself. If it’s so easy to be successful, then why aren’t you successful yourself?
How to cure this: Take an honest look at your own life
Look in the mirror. Think about where your life is currently. Whose fault is it that you’re not where you want to be? Realize that the common denominator in all of your problems is you. Are you really working as hard as you can to get what you want out of life, or are you actually just lazy? Do you have any goals? Are you even trying? I can’t answer these questions for you. I also can’t force you to take an objective look at your life. Only you can do that, and until you do that, you’re going to stay stuck in the mud.
2. You believe that all wealthy people haven’t necessarily earned their wealth
Many of us has a stereotypical view of wealthy people. We see them as lazy, ungrateful, entitled people who simply inherited a bunch of money from their parents. This view is far from true. In reality, an overwhelming amount of millionaires and billionaires are self-made. People like Bill Gates started their companies from scratch, and they put in an almost superhuman amount of time and dedication to their creations. Bill Gates was once quoted as saying “In my twenties, I never took a day off.” That’s 3,650 consecutive days of toiling. Take a step back and look at your life and your bank account. If there’s not much in there perhaps the reason is that you aren’t providing the world with much of anything.
How to cure this: Read Biographies
I’m currently reading a fascinating autobiography about Michael Jordan. Contrary to popular belief, he wasn’t always the supremely dominant player we portray him as. He wasn’t the most highly touted recruit coming out of high school, and long story short, he worked really really really really hard at becoming a great player. It’s actually insane how motivated the guy was. Magazine articles and media outlets only show you the finished product. Biographies take you through the real struggles and obstacles that present themselves to anyone forging a path towards greatness. Reading the actual stories of what people do to become successful will shatter the myths you have about what it takes to reach the pinnacle of achievement.
3. Your focus is always on others, but never on yourself
You are in a constant state of gossip. You are always worried about what the next person is doing. You have the solutions to fix the lives of everyone around you. You also are in complete denial about your own life. Take a look in the mirror for a second. How if YOUR life going? What are YOU doing to be successful?
How to cure this: Ask your friends for honest feedback
First, tell them that you will not get upset at their response and that you simply need some feedback about your attitude so that you can improve your life. Allow them to be frank with you. After hearing some constructive criticism, take the time to step back and see how you can use these critiques to make some changes in your life.
4. It bothers you to see others succeed
When your buddy gets a new promotion at work you congratulate him on the outside but you are seething with envy on the inside. You look at the lives of people doing comparatively better than you, and instead of using that as motivation, you simply wonder why that can’t be you.
How to cure this: Show some gratitude
I’m sure if you think long and hard about it, you can find some things that you like about your life. Even if the list isn’t long, try to think about something that you’re grateful for. Perhaps it’s your family or your partner. Be grateful for the fact that you are able to enjoy modern conveniences and don’t have to worry about starving like some people in third world countries. If you are able bodied and of sound mind, be grateful for that. Pick something, anything, which will help you realize that it’s okay to be you.
5. You go out of your way to spew negativity
It’s perfectly fine to disagree with what someone is doing, as long as it’s in a constructive way, but you are just downright derogatory. You are the troll, the one who unleashes a verbal onslaught in the comment boxes of people who are actually doing something with their lives. You’re angry for no reason other than you dislike you own life quite a bit. Successful people don’t go out of their way to tear others down.
How to cure this: Get some exercise
I’ve noticed that people who work out often seem to be more positive in general. Being active can actually make you a happier individual. Go to the gym and listen to some audio of Tony Robbins in your headphones. You’ve been staring at your computer screen to long searching for new comment boxes to raid, and its messing with your brain. Get out of your swivel chair and do some sit-ups.