It’s 2:08 AM and I feel like I got hit by a truck.
I fell for you. I fell for you so hard and so fast that I didn’t even catch myself falling. By the time I noticed, it was too late. I was already in too deep. For a split second I thought it could work.
It can’t. No matter what or how I try, it’ll never work. I knew that from the very beginning but I can’t do anything about it now. I’m here in open water clutching on to a life vest with no boat or ship in sight. I’m terrified.
You make me feel more than beautiful. I look at you and I forget a world exists outside the two of us. I get so lost in our laughter and feel so peaceful when I hear your voice. I’m so deep, I’m practically blind. But even this doesn’t capture how I feel when I’m around you.
I hate you. I hate you for making me feel so special. I hate how easily you can make me happy, because I can’t have you. I hate you because it’ll never work. I’ll never understand what it means to lose you, because I’ll never have the chance to be with you. I’ll never have the chance to love you and have you love me back.
“Tis better to have loved, than to never have loved at all.” On a rainy May night at 2:08 AM, I finally understood what those words meant.